Se7en

With Asher still recovering from his sister's first day of school and the girls still too excited from it to want to steal Asher's Blog from him, I am going to take a few moments to let you all know about someone very special to all four of us. Seven years ago today, Ann Lesley and I were wed. Seven years does not seem like that long of a time, but when I think of all we have accomplished, it is staggering. We both have Masters, we have remodeled a house, we have had three amazing kids, been able to excel in multiple jobs at the same time and still stayed in love.

Ann Lesley is an amazing, selfless, tolerant, strong, and caring woman. She holds everything we do together and does it with ease and grace. She is a skilled mother who never looses her cool. She is brave and innovative. In 1996 at camp I met her and knew she would be important to me, and here, fourteen years later, I am happier now to be with her than I could have ever thought I would be.

So, on our seven year anniversary, I wanted to thank my lovely and loving wife for all that she does for Asher, Gillian, Liana, and myself. I could not have asked for a better wife and I know that my children could not have had a better mother.

Happy Anniversary Ann Lesley. I love you more and more each day.

I AM DEV-A-STA-TED!

Not to be redundant, but I am devastated! I really thought we dropped off my sisters for good yesterday. I really was having a nice morning with my mom and was thinking that the afternoon would be better. When I woke up from my nap, my mom took me for a ride. Maybe we were going to go to Bed, Bath, and Beyond to decorate my work room. (She did not yet know my plans for my sisters old bed room. I thought that I would get a nice computer table in front of the window so I could watch people while I worked. In the back corner I was going to put a little refrigerator in case I wanted some milk and an LCD with a DVR so I could record Mad Money, I love that show. One wall was going to have a futon in case people visiting were too tired to go home. Finally, I was going to get a fake fichus tree with a stuffed monkey in it.) We did not go to B3, nor Wally World, not The Great Land, or even World Market. WE PICKED THEM UP! Why would my mother, who I though loved me so, bring back those tormentors to my grotto? I really can't talk about the disappointment that is masticating on my broken dreams. When I recompose, I will talk more. There is no picture of me today because there is no joy. Here is a sad clown. *<:O(

School

A strange thing happened today. We did our normal morning routine--wake up, eat breakfast, get dressed, watch Liana and Gillian alternate between playing Barbies and beating each other. And then, instead of continuing the Barbies and the beating, we took Liana and Gillian to someplace called school. We drove into this line of cars and then a strange lady came into the car and took Liana and Gillian, and then Mom and me drove home. It was the most wonderful thing ever! I got to have Mom all to myself. I got to take a nap without being awakened by yelling. It's awesome! They've been gone all morning now, and I'm loving it. I could definitely get used to this.

Three..... Two..... One...... ME!!!!!!!!!

Asher is cute and Gillian might be a princess, but I am the brains that started it all. I am the original, the pioneer, and the first edition. I am the artist, the dancer, and the memory. I am Liana Faye and I am here to tell it to you straight. I will pull the wool from your eyes and let you see the truth. That is my gift to you. It is now Liana time.
I want to talk about my school. I go to a great preschool with a lot of my friends where I am a Lizard. No, we do not practice metamorphosis, that is just the name of the pre-K group that I am in. I am really excited to get to go back. Besides camp, school is my favorite place. I love to learn. My dad tells me I have an awesome brain. He is correct. My brain is awesome. It should have it's own facebook fan page. It is almost as cool as Antoine Dodson, but it is cooler than Hasselhoff.

I am also a really good artist. My pictures tell stories. I can draw anything including roads, dragons, G-d, and landscapes. My current favorite is my Queen Spoon Person. It is even more awesome than the name.

Just call me...Pickle Man!

Today my mom was eating a pickle and I wanted it. Normally she's good at keeping things out of my reach, but I guess with this she knew better. Instead of keeping it away from me, she handed it to me! She said something about how I wasn't going to like it and told Liana and Gillian to watch me because I guess she thought I was going to do something funny. Well, let me tell you...it was the BEST THING EVER! Of course, I couldn't bite it because I still haven't figured out how to bite and chew, but I sucked every last drop of the sweet juice out of that pickle. For dinner they tried to give me mashed up peas again, but I wouldn't have it. I screamed until they finally got the message and gave me a pickle.

I am Pickle Man.
Pickle Man out!

(P.S. I'm sorry there are no pictures of me sucking on a pickle. The camera took a beating this summer at camp and is currently being replaced by Best Buy. Actually, I have heard that it is ready, but my silly parents have been too busy doing something called work to go pick it up. Here's a picture of me sleeping in the car instead.)

I've got a fever, and the only cure is...more cowbell pickle!

Meat Loaf

So, my mom and dad's friend Gila has been calling me Meat Loaf and I wasn't sure why. I've never tried meatloaf, though I hear it is delicious, and we all know how delicious I am. Well, I found out there's a singer named Meat Loaf, who sings classic songs such as "Paradise By the Dashboard Light" and "I Would Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That)." Apparently, Meat Loaf is not his real name either. His real name is Marvin Lee Aday, and the title of my blog reminded Gila of that. So, to her, I am Meat Loaf, which is fine with me, because she's cool.

Good luck today, Gila! We love you!! (That part is from my whole family.)

A Milestone

I've been eating solid foods for a couple weeks now and, as Gillian says, I now make person poop.

I heart my party elephant!

Foodwatch 2010: Beets! Delicious!

I am SOOOO Excited, I could Plotz!

Great news all you loyal followers.  Are you ready for this?  Well I know I am.  Jack and Lisa are engaged!  I know my big sis is BFF with Lisa so she is excited and Gillian is stoked because Lisa has a really good fashion sense and gets her nice big dresses.  I, on the other hand, am excited for my "I am a PC" Uncle Jack because he is the only one who calls me Solo.  He thinks it is going to stick, but I am not so sure.  He says it is because of my first of two middle names, Solomon, but my dad thinks that it is because I am the only testosterone surrounded by a lot of estrogen.  Either one works.  So this is the official "Asher a Day" sign of congratulations---   CONGA RATS! 

Captain Howie, G, Me, and Liana chilling up in the Wood.

Now after those formalities... back to the reason you are here right now.  That is me, if you were not sure.  Let's talk about my exercise plan that I currently am working with. My mom puts me on the ground and I get on my fingers and toes like I am a strutting bear. Once I am in that position, the possibilities are endless.  I can:

1. Rock back and forth like I am revving up to go nowhere
2. Move backwards (this is not crawling, it is an involuntary equal and opposite reaction to option one)
3. Drop my face quickly into the ground resulting in me being picked up due to tears
4. Pelvic thrust the floor like some strange version of the Time Warp (this really drives me insa-a-a-a-a-ne
5. Drop to a prone postion like I am in combat
6. Go to a higher elevation so I can locate my binky, rattle, party elephant or any other thing to put in my mouth
7. Show off my rocking imitation junk filled diaper booty  (it's phat!)
8. Practice being a center for an NFL team
9. Become a bridge/mountain for the constant reliving of the wedding from Little Mermaid or Aladin III that has been going on non stop during daylight hours for about a week now by my sisters
10. (Insert your own interpretation here.  Chances are I have done it)

Once the forward momentum actually propels me forward, all bets are off.  This Asher WILL be on the move.  There will be no stopping me.  The world will be my oyster and you bet I am ready to start shucking.  On that note, I am going to check my Asian Stocks, have a night cap, and catch some ZZZZZ's.  My parents are looking tired so I think I will visit them only three times tonight.  Until tomorrow.  Asher out.

Crawling

So, I'm starting to think about this crawling thing. It seems like a good way to get what I want. I've mastered grabbing things with my hands and my mouth, but sometimes things are just too far away for my chubby arms to reach, and I can't always roll into the right position to get things in my mouth.

I've made some progress, but for some reason, when I try to crawl toward something in front of me, I end up scooting backward. It makes no sense. I'm supposed to put less space between me and what I want, not more. Going backwards can be quite terrifying too, because I can't see where I'm going. I have been underneath both Liana's and Gillian's beds. I'm surprised I survived. The most horrifying place is under the couch. Luckily, my big cloth diaper butt is high enough to stop me before I get all the way under there.


A little sidenote... I don't know what happened yesterday. I go take a soak and when I come back Gillian has a devilish smile on her face and is sitting at the computer. I didn't know what she was up to at the time. Normally she is fairly nice to me. When I found out what she had done, I felt violated. I wanted to delete it, but my parents wouldn't let me. I guess she is entitled to having a voice in this blog as well. Don't worry though--I won't let it happen too often.

Driving around in my automobile

Foodwatch 2010: Peas--mashed green goo. Not as good as the bananas. I feel there's a joke here, but it's not coming to me. I must be tired. Off to bed now, since I have to be up in 2 hours to disrupt my parents' sleep.

It's My Turn Now

This is Gillian. People call me Gigi, or just G. My parents call me G Monster. You can call me Princess G. I'm tired of Asher getting all this attention. I'm pretty cute too, and I'm a princess on top of that.

Let's talk about dresses. I only wear dresses because princesses only wear dresses. My favorite princess is Jasmine. I know, she doesn't normally wear a dress, but she wears a dress when she gets married, and I love weddings. My favorite bedtime storybook right now is the photo album from Mommy and Daddy's wedding.

My favorite dresses are Liana's dresses. I like my dresses to be big and long, so Liana's dresses are the best. She doesn't care about wearing dresses anyway, so that's good for me.

I was sad today because I didn't listen to my mom and got my dress taken away. When I don't listen I have to wear shorts. It's so beneath me.

I'm glad to be home with all my Barbies so I can put dresses on them and marry them over and over. But, I miss all my friends from camp too--my fellow princesses Mia and Leilani, and my Mama Monkey Julie Ann.

An Overheard Conversation

I was pretending to sleep the other day while my sisters were painting. Liana painted a picture of some flowers with God watching over them. This is the conversation I heard.

Gillian: Liana, are you God?

Liana: No, but I just like to pretend to be God sometimes.

Gillian: Where is God?

Liana: There are little gods inside of everybody.

On the Road Again

Great-Great Grandma Roma with Gaga, Mommy, Liana, and Gillian (September 2009)

Sorry for my absence the past several days. Almost as soon as we got home to St. Louis we had to leave again. My great-great-grandma died, so we traveled to Claremore, Oklahoma for her memorial service. Being in the car again was the last thing I was interested in, but I got to add a new state to my list and once we got there I got to meet a lot of new relatives--Great-Grandma (Carol Hamvas, my mom's grandma), Great-Uncle Dan (mom's dad's brother), Great-Great Aunt Gwen (mom's dad's aunt) and Great-Great Aunt and Uncle Ann and Chuck (mom's dad's aunt and uncle). That's a lot of greats! They all loved me, of course. Everyone told lots of stories about Great-Great Grandma, and I was sad that I never got the chance to meet her. The rest of my family visited her last year when I was still in Mommy's tummy, so I guess I kind of met her, but not really. It sounds like she was a really cool lady, and I know she was proud of her family. While we were there we spent a lot of time looking at old photo albums and reading through her old letters that she had kept. I mostly tried to shove everything in my mouth because that's just the way I roll, but it was also pretty impressive to see those pictures--some of them from as long ago as the 1920s! She sure witnessed a lot of history in her 98 years. And she was active right up until the end--she loved writing too, and just a few weeks ago we had received a newsletter she had written chronicling the first 6 months of this year (of course I had a starring role in that newsletter!). She will be missed, but she had a long life and accomplished a lot, and was satisfied with and grateful for the life she had. We should all be so lucky!

And here's your picture of me for the day!

Back Home in St. Louis- Where's my Toasted Rav?

We finally made it home to St. Louis yesterday. I slept through most of the drive, so it went pretty fast. I did try to watch "The Little Mermaid" on the DVD player, but my sisters wouldn't let me see it.  So, we get home. And guess what?  No, there was not a package waiting for me.  The water was out!  Something called a water main broke.  Now picture this:  I get out of the car and all I can think about is taking a nice long soak, but it was denied to me by cruel fate.  Home for forty minutes and then we are off to Nana and Gaga's house.  Now someone needs to help me process this:  there were three people who all looked like my mom but only one of them was feeding me.  It should have been a buffet, I was thinking, but the other two are called Aunts and I guess that means they were "out of order." Water came back on, we went home, and I still did not get my much needed soak. 

New day today.  STILL NO SOAK!  I sit in a car for six hours strapped into a chair that is not even leather and no seems to think that I might be stiff.  I digress.  We saw the broken moms again today and a handy man named Scott.  I guess people have the same name... this world is confusing.  I am going to call him Sock, my sisters do.  The tormentors (Liana and Gillian) really enjoy making messes and waking me from naps. I really do not like taking naps anyways, but I have to make my mom think that she is victorious in our war on sleep.

My dad, the real Scott, goes back to work tomorrow.  That means I am going to be surrounded by estrogen again.  Tear. Okay, I need to go check my stocks and then hit the sack.  That e-trade baby is a no talent hack--I make real bucks.

Food Watch 10- add bananas and baby mum mums (rice husks (don't ask me, I don't know what they are)) to the list.  As I eat it, I will poop it, and then I will let you know.

I Miss Audrey

Audrey at Gillian's Princess Birthday Party

I might show a sign of weakness, but I miss Audrey bunches.  Not only did she program for my sisters admirably with the rest of Rishonim staff, but she squeezed my legs, gave me kissy faces, and talked about me in Yiddish.  It was sad to see her leave early, but she went home to learn more Hebrew for school, which is a fine reason to leave camp.  I hope she will be back next year cause she is nice.  When I was checking my Facebook this morning, I saw that it was Audrey's Birthday.  Now that is a special day.  I was talking to my sisters and we all agree that this should be the best birthday you have ever had. We would give you hugs, but we keep scratching the screen when we try to reach in.  Happy Birthday Audrey.  Here are some pictures of you.

On a different note, we leave Chicago today to head back home.  It was a really nice weekend seeing everyone. It is too many people to list, but it was really a lot of fun with everyone.  We start our trek home soon.  I will blog when I get home.  Thanks camp for a great summer and my grandparents for a great time in Chicago!

THAT WAS WICKED AWESOME!

I JUST HAD THE BEST THING EVER!  Now, don't get me wrong, a never ending supply of milk is pretty cool, but oatmeal, that was the bomb.  I do not know if it was the texture, the smell, or even the color--there was something about oatmeal that was new and exciting.  I think I am hooked.  I do not know what can top the succulent mixture that slid down my gullet tonight.  I digress...



I took to this manna from heaven very easily. My mom did not think I would, but my dad knew I would rock at it.  As you can see in the pictures below, I barely made any mess.  FOOD IS GOOD!

Oatmeal...

Tonight, I eat oatmeal.  I have only had one thing to eat for six months and I am looking forward to some variety.  I have seen a box of oatmeal sitting on the counter with a chunky surprised looking baby on it.  I am sooooo excited to eat something.  Maybe after I eat the oatmeal I will have some sushi or something else that works with my advanced palate.  I will keep all my fans informed with how the tasting goes.

Look at all that clean laundry that I get to fold!

On a different note, my sisters got some cute cupcake necklaces (thank you Uncle Philip and Aunt Diane).  They came in fake cupcakes and Gillian keeps trying to eat it.  She also wore Grandma Lynn's wedding dress and it was huge on her, but it was really cute.  Liana has been doing some really nice drawings.  Some of our cousins from Vegas are visiting and my sisters are playing with Goldie and having a lot of fun.  It is nice seeing relatives that we do not often see.  Here are a couple of pictures of my sisters from the summer.

Liana wearing face paint from a local festival before camp

Gillian looking awesome and futuristic chilling in a tunnel

A Brief Point of Clarification....

As a token adult on a child's blog, I must take a moment to say that anyone who was not specifically mentioned in Asher's first post should not be slighted. Remember, he is only six months old and has a short attention span. Just yesterday, he found a stuffed donkey and was preoccupied by it for hours. He stopped right in the middle of a story. But I digress. He has been telling me all about his friends he made this summer: young and old, male and female, Jew or gentile. Hopefully, everyone will enjoy his musings.

Now look at that smile and everything will be good.

My First Blog!

I'm Asher and this is my first blog. I made so many friends at camp this summer so I decided to make a blog to keep everyone updated on my awesomeness.  I have two big sisters named Liana and Gillian--I'll update you on them too. We're on our way home from camp now and we already miss everyone. There are only a few people around that can hold me and I already tire of the lack of variety. I especially miss having meals with Donna, Gigi and Hilla, and pooping on Cami. Only ten months until we're all together again!