Lazy Sunday

Today was the first day in a long time that my family had nothing to do. Every week day is busy with school and activities and grocery shopping and stuff like that. Saturdays are for synagogue. Sundays are for Sunday school or some other synagogue activity. Today there was no Sunday school and it was one of the rare Sundays with no Sunday school and no other programs or commitments. Plus we got the extra hour. We were beside ourselves. What were we going to do?

Well, it was supposed to be a nice, sunny day, so Mom and Dad got the great idea to take us to a park and play with the camera. It's hard to get pictures of all three kids together, so they thought between the two of them they might be able to get something. First stop was Nana and Gaga's backyard. We had just gone out for brunch, so everyone was full and should have been in a good mood. No such luck. Liana and Gillian were in their usual moods and didn't want to have anything to do with each other. I was busy pooping (I went five days without a poop this week and had to start laxatives, but that's another story). Nobody wanted to cooperate. They set us up in a few different positions, but mostly we just screamed at each other. And then I got strangled, which is how family photos usually turn out. So, Mom and Dad gave up on their brilliant idea and we went to the playground for a little and then just relaxed at home. Despite the rough start, it turned out to be a nice day. It's nice not to be busy. Here are some of our photos from today (you can click on any of them to see them larger):

This one almost worked...except for Liana.

Here's a decent one of me.

Look how sweet she can be.

Up in a tree, too distracted to smile at the camera.

No choking here, just smashing.

Almost got a good one.

Finally! We're all looking at the camera and smiling.

And here comes the choking.

Liana's in a better mood now.

Free Candy? Count Me In!

Why did no one tell me about Halloween sooner? It has to be the best invention ever.

No one told me what was going on at first, so as you can imagine, I was a little confused. In the week before Halloween there were peacock feathers and shiny pink and green tulle all over the house. It was like I was living in Liberace's closet.  What am I supposed to make of that? While we had babysat Aunt Louie's dog Casey the weekend before, I didn't see any other pets that might be shedding feathers. And what is up with tulle anyway?  My dad refers to people as tulles, but I don't get it?

Then on Monday afternoon we went to Liana's school and there weren't any kids there. Just superheroes, cowboys, fairies. They got all hopped up on nut-free, egg-free cookies and then started dancing all over the place. I like dancing, so I joined them, and I'm not going to turn down cookies, even if they are "allergy aware." I just didn't know what was going on.

Then we got home and Mom went crazy with the tulle. Liana and Gillian had many demands about their wardrobe and Mom tried to meet them all as the sun started to set without inducing a wardrobe malfunction. So, my sisters turned into big balls of shiny stuff and tulle. Then my aunts and uncle and Nana and Gaga and Casey came to our house. Casey had somehow turned into a ladybug, Aunt Rin was covered head to toe in silver, and Aunt Louie looked like a farmer that got attacked by corn stalks. I didn't know what crazy juice they were on, but I had my cars and I was happy. And that's when it happened.

I looked up and saw Mom coming toward me. She was holding what looked like the carcass of an overgrown, furry bumblebee. And then she tried to smother me with it. I screamed. Surely one of the many grownups around could help me. But they all tried to get the thing on me too. It was terrifying.

There was lots of pleading with me, but I just continued screaming, so they put a jacket on me and put me in the stroller. Why were we going for a walk at night? It didn't make any sense. We started walking around the neighborhood and there were packs of pirates and princesses and monsters all around. It was chilly, but neighbors were hanging out on their driveways with campfires. Then I noticed something. My sisters would walk up to people, hold out their bags, and the people would give them candy! A couple people saw me in the stroller and came up and gave me candy too. Just for sitting there. So, I realized something. Wearing weird garments=candy. I decided to let my Mom put the bee suit on me and then I was done with the stroller. All I had to do was wander up to a door and the person at the house would shove a huge bowl of candy at me! Best night ever.

It took me a while to come around, but when candy is involved, I am there. Liana, on the other hand, apparently can have enough candy. About halfway through our journey, she decided she had enough candy. She went up to the door with us, told her joke, and then politely said, "No, thank you" as people offered her candy. What is wrong with her? At least take it and give it to me!

At The Magic House Halloween Party

Gillian is a peacock. She had more feathers, but gave up on them.

Liana is a rose (she helped create the costume).

My Long Hiatus (aka Vomit-palooza)

I've decided it's time to come out of my Internet silence. It came to my attention that my great-grandma was worried about me since I mentioned Vomit-palooza and then disappeared for several weeks. Don't worry, everyone, we're all okay! It's just hard to get much computer time when everyone is throwing up everywhere and coughing and just being sick in general. Then when everyone finally did get better, Mom and Dad were too busy catching up on all their work that piled up in the meantime.

So, to catch you all up, our sick house started the last week of September (two days before Rosh Hashanah) when Liana started running a fever. We knew she was really sick when she fell asleep on the couch in the middle of the afternoon (this is the girl who takes at least an hour in bed to fall asleep every night). Her fever went off and on for several days and we eventually called in Dr. Aunt Rin who thought she had pneumonia. Our official doctor confirmed that, and I got to spend a fun day with Liana in the doctor's office and at the hospital.

Now, I'm just a toddler, and I like to put things in my mouth. I also like to lick things. And bite things. Mom is usually pretty good about keeping things out of my mouth, but dealing with a pitiful Liana at the hospital made her a little distracted, and I found some nice things to chew in the hospital waiting room. Which is what most likely brought us...

VOMIT-PALOOZA!

It started the Saturday night after Yom Kippur. Liana was still miserable from the pneumonia and even more miserable about having to take medicine, but we all decided to have a break the fast party and sleepover at Nana and Gaga's house with Aunt Rin, Aunt Louie and Uncle Sock. We didn't go to services in the evening, but were in charge of getting the food ready for everyone who was at services. Mom made four pizzas, plus salad and garlic bread. It was all consumed within about 15 minutes of everyone getting home. Later we were all enjoying bubble tea and relaxing. The grown-ups were settling in to watch Saturday Night Live while the girls were doing art projects and I was snuggling on the couch with Nana. Out of nowhere, I burped and then...a ridiculous amount of projectile vomit flew out of my mouth and covered Nana and Uncle Sock, as well as the leather couch we were sitting on. Nana started screaming. I started screaming. Then pretty much everyone started screaming.  Then the laughter began.

I hadn't been acting sick, so no one was quite sure what to make of the vomit. We got cleaned up, Uncle Sock changed into some of Aunt Rin's pajamas, and then we got back to Saturday Night Live. I was sitting on Mom's lap because no one else wanted me now. And for good reason. Just as everything was calming down...vomit all over Mom and Dad. Not so much screaming this time. Mom got changed into some of Aunt Rin's pajamas and then everyone got smart and gave me a barf bucket. I threw up about 6 more times that evening.

The next day was my sweet revenge. I did fine for most of the day. Then in the afternoon Dad was holding me and Gillian was standing next to him...and I threw up all over Gillian. It was awesome.

Over the next week the vomiting went through most of the family. Mom and Uncle Sock got it first, then Liana and Gillian, then Aunt Louie. Nana and Aunt Rin got a milder, non-throwing-up version, and Dad and Gaga were spared. Dad ended up with bronchitis instead. Also, during the week of vomit, Liana developed an allergy to her antibiotic and got hives all over herself. Which meant new antibiotics and new allergy meds--and therefore more drama and fighting about taking it.

So last week was the first time everyone was finally started to feel better. Everyone is still coughing quite a bit, but we're generally on the mend. Stay tuned for my Halloween adventures.

Walt Whitman Day is Almost Over *<:O(

I know I have been silent recently.  With Yom Kippur, Rosh Hashannah, Pneumonia, and the week of a thousand vomits, I have not been able to write.  I will fill you in on all the above stories tomorrow or the next day, but I will let you know this, There will be Vomit.

Now onto big things.  Really big things.  Today is Walt Whitman Day.  This is my second Walt Whitman Day and boy was it a special day.  I am going to start at the beginning and just let you know what happened.

I woke up with my crib upstairs.  I knew it  was October 12 because of the ceremonial relocation of the smallest.  We had ice cream for breakfast and I was already looking forward to cereal for dessert later due to the provision of reversing meals.  I was lucky that it was nice weather since it is forbidden to wear socks.  We carved Casaba Mellons and put them on the front porch for all to see.  Most importantly, we turned on vintage metal Michael Bolton, the only music one can listen to on this day.  My dad could not find a copy of a Blackjack CD, so we had to settle for the transition period between metal and melodramatic.  I love me some Bolton.

After the morning activities I went with my mom to the creek to try to skip crackers to signify the insignificance of our existence in reference to Whitman.  We read "Leaves of Grass" backwards and put on fake beards and found people on the street to try to sell Whitman chotchkeys to.  This was unsuccessful.  We could not break change as people in our neighborhood only had $100s and would not buy that many.  It was disappointing, but we decided to make limeade out of lemons and encited a small riot with children at the local preschool.  All in all, a good recovery.

Lunch was Knockwurst, of course.

 

My dad cried one tear.  He did not want me to see it, but I think he was sad to celebrate this Walt Whitman Day without his friends.  It has been eight years since they celebrated this holiday together.  It is hard to have this day without the required 12 Hawaiian Tropic Models.  He kept saying, "it just isn't the same" over and over again.

We did our random acts of charity by randomly mowing our neighbor's yards and flower beds.  We knew we were done when we heard the sirens in the distance.  We did not peel off our Nixon masks until we were safe at home.  Apparently you can buy Nixon masks for 20 month olds.

I was getting really really tired but was not allowed my nap due to the sleep fast.  I pushed through, but did get a tid bit crabby.  I started getting hungry and had my cereal. 

All in all, the effigy burned, the flan fell, the bubbles burst, the worm races brought in lots of money, and our door is still open in case Whitman decides to come and eat the Shamrock Shakes saved from last year that we left for him on the upper most toilet tank in the house.

Another very successful Walt Whitman Day.  What will October 12th of next year bring?  Maybe small pickles, a Mr. Davenport, a really large furry creature from the planet Kashyyyk, a women named Christina, and a fish from the fish in the family Acipenseidae.  It will be a great grand day.

Until next year.  "May all your quarters be from Rhode Island and all your bag fries be long. Happy Walt Whitman day to all, and to all a good night!" 

BTW:  Corey Hart would have caught that ball in the game if he was not wearing his sunglasses.  Jeesh.

Yom Kippur, Commentary by a toddler...

Yom Kippur is coming tomorrow night.  Now, I am just a baby.  I do not always understand things the same way as giant adults do.  This day of atonement coming up is a little confusing for me.  I will do my best to explain it. 

I like to head but people.  Occasionally, I will nibble on someones shoulder or pull someone's hair.  I like throwing cups, especially if they do not have a lid and they have liquid in them.  I like peeing on a train table and pooping in strange places like a kitchen floor.  This is not who I am, this is what I do. 

But tomorrow is Yom Kippur.  I am sorry to those of you who have been peed, pulled, pooped, butted, thrown, or nibbled.  Even though you are tasty, I ask for forgiveness.  You are tasty. 

A Crappy Tale

I don't mean for so many of my posts to come back to bodily functions, but when you're a toddler it's just inevitable. One of the things I most look forward to in my day is my evening naked time. Now, I know everyone loves naked time--most people just don't admit it. I'm lucky that at my age it's still socially acceptable to be naked whenever I want. So, I get to roam free. I think my parents think it will help me start using the potty more (that's what happened with Gillian, but Gillian was also a freak of nature who hit all her milestones super early). I just think it feels awesome.

Anyway, tonight I was sitting in my booster chair at the table, and when my Mom picked me up, what did she feel sticking out of my cute little cheeks? A penny. Now maybe the penny was there on my chair to begin with, but I don't know. Maybe I also have a magic butt. And with practice, who knows what might be able to come out of there?

Shanah Tovah!

A big Shanah Tovah to all my Jewish and non-Jewish friends alike. We've had a busy extended weekend with lots of synagogue time, but also lots of food, and more importantly, lots of chocolate. We hope everyone will have a good new year filled with lots of happiness and good health!

A few mazel tovs/congratulations:

To my cousin Rachel on her wedding this weekend (I am named after her grandma).

To my blog follower/my mom's friend Newfangled Dad on completing his fourth marathon today.

To my dad's high school for winning their football game this weekend. (I'm only putting this in to appease my dad because I don't understand high school football and winning a football game isn't nearly as exciting as getting married or running a marathon.)

To my sister Gillian on finding the most awesome hat at a garage sale. Don't worry, there will be pictures.

To my buddy Ari (my babysitter Addie's nephew) on turning 1.

To my family for getting a Blu-ray player.

To the world for the announcement of the new season of "Arrested Development." Yes, I'm just a toddler, but I know good TV.

I'm feeling in a congratulatory mood, so if you have more that you would like to share with the world (or at least the people who read this blog), leave your good news in the comments below!