Things You Never Thought You'd Hear in Synagogue, Part 1

"No Torah fights!"

That was my mom and dad tonight, trying to keep my sisters from beating each other with stuffed Torahs at the Simchat Torah celebration. There might even have been Yad jousting, but I was in and out of a tooth induced coma.  When awake, I enjoyed chewing on my stuffed Torah. I named it Torahy.  It was actually quite refreshing to feel the soft fabric on my sore gums. I liked my friend so much that I brought Torahy home with me.

It's been a rough couple days in the country of Asher-land known as Asherbaijan. I barely slept last night from the pain (though I did enjoy staying up to watch "Survivor" and "Modern Family" with Mom and Dad).  I was leaking all over my face and boy was I hot.  I do this thing that I think is really funny.  I fall asleep in my Mom or Dad's arms and pass out hard.  You can lift and drop my arm and it does not phase me.  This game becomes funny when my Mom or Dad try to lower me into my crib.  Once I start my decent, I start to cry.  I am still asleep mind you.  This skill has taken a lot of practice, but it works really nicely.  So long story short, I got to sleep next to my Mom and snack whenever I want.  Once this tooth comes in, I am going to gnaw something. 

On a different note, my parents got a Digital SLR camera.  It is a Canon T2i.  The pictures are really good.  I hope they will put some up in the next couple days of me. 

My Teeth Hurt

Getting teeth sucks. That's all I have to say.

They better get me some steak when I'm done with this.

Here are some cute pictures of me.

It's solved. Now just let me chew on it.

Yarrgh, I've got pirate booty in me diaper.

I have product in my hair. It's plumcot! (a plum-apricot hybrid-very delicious)

Homemade Baby Legs (and other crafty mom things)

Well, you get me tonight (Ann Lesley). Asher is taking the night off because he has some teeth coming in and is feeling cranky. I'm feeling cranky too, after dealing with him being cranky all last night and today, but I know how to handle it a little better than he does. I'm here tonight to tell you about my fairly new adventure into craftiness. I have never been a crafty person, but earlier this year I wanted to try making a mei tai baby carrier for Asher. I had been wanting a mei tai for a long time (even back to when Liana was a baby), but could never justify spending over $100 for one when I already had several decent carriers. So, I found a pattern and decided to go for it. It wasn't that hard to make--I ended up making a girly one for me and a manly one for Scott--and they turned out pretty awesome. I don't know why I waited so long because it's definitely the best carrier I've ever used.

I have also experimented with some clothes, for the kids and for their toys--here are the girls in some nightgowns and Asher in a Snuggie.

Today I worked on Baby Legs, which are basically baby leg warmers. I had heard about these for a while and never quite understood the point of them. But then I found this tutorial and decided to give it a try. They were so easy and they turned out really cute. Plus, I made them out of women's socks that I had gotten on clearance at Target for $1, so they were super cheap--and just as cute and the $10 brand name ones. Asher seems to like them too!

So, that's me being crafty. Enjoy! Hopefully Asher will be back tomorrow!

Sleepless Nights

Sleeping on Addie at The Lumberjack Show. 
I know there is a joke here I am missing.
Leave a comment with a better caption.
There might be a prize for the best one...

Sorry for my absence this past week. It has been busy around here with all the holidays and Dad's IEPs and just general busy-ness. There also has not been a lot of sleeping going on around our house, which makes the busy days all that much harder. On any given night, I can be found sleeping in a variety of places--my crib, Mom and Dad's bed, and Gillian's bed. Mom and Dad's bed is my favorite because I get to snuggle with Mom and Dad, except for when Gillian and Liana are already there. If Gillian and Liana are already in Mom and Dad's bed, then I don't want to join that mattress of terror. I don't know if I would make it out alive--with all the kicking, sleep-talking, and blanket-stealing that goes on between the two of them. That's when I go to Gillian's bed with mom, and that's pretty nice too. Gillian's bed still has railings so I don't have to worry about falling out, and it is nice to get mom to myself sometimes. Mom and Dad know these are my sleeping preferences, so I don't know why they always insist on starting my nights in my crib.

Is there something behind me? 
OH NO!  It is The Frog!

The crib is where my nemesis, The Frog, lives. I do not know if he was Black Ops, MI6, French special forces (I know that sounds funny, but they must have one), or even from some North Korean secret policeman, but somehow he lives in my crib now.  The Frog is an ever-smiling monstrosity with a stomach that glows orange as it repeatedly sings "Twinkle Twinkle" and a plethora of other lullabies. The glowing has to be the source of its power, like Iron Man-- or some kind of mind control device. I've tried to resist it, but its powers are too strong and it makes me fall asleep. Luckily, when I wake up two hours later it has usually fallen asleep too. Mom and Dad seem to be able to control it, but I usually let them know I don't want to have anything to do with it during the night, which is how I get my way and get into their bed. They poke him in the chest which seems to wake The Frog from his slumber and then they give him a secret handshake which must give him his orders.  He is an ever vigilant adversary which I will one day  destroy. 

By the way, I am getting tired.  Tonight I will be ready.  Maybe tomorrow morning I will try a new food....   FROG LEGS!  HA HA HA HA HA (I am so tired)

THE NAME GAME

Here are the official rules and history for the Name Game from wikipedia.com:

"The Name Game," or "The Banana Song", is a children's sing-along rhyming game that creates variations on a person's name. It was written by singer Shirley Ellis with Lincoln Chase, and Ellis' recording, produced by Charles Calello, was released in late 1964 as "The Name Game." That record went to number 3 on the Billboard Hot 100, and number 4 on the magazine's R&B charts in 1965. Ellis performed "The Name Game" on major television programs of the day, including Hullabaloo, American Bandstand, and Merv Griffin.  Ellis told Melody Maker magazine that the song was based on a game she played as a child.

Using the name Micah as an example, the song follows this pattern:

Micah, Micah, bo-bicah,

Banana-fana fo-ficah

Fee-fi-mo-icah

Micah!

A verse can be created for any name, with X as the name and X−1 as the name without the first consonant sound (if it begins with a consonant), as follows:

(X), (X), bo-b(X−1)

Banana-fana fo-f(X−1)

Fee-fi-mo-m(X−1)

X!

If the name starts with a vowel or vowel sound, the "b" "f" or "m" is inserted in front of the name. And if the name starts with a b, f, or m, that sound simply is not repeated. (For example: Billy becomes "Billy Billy bo-illy"; Fred becomes "banana fana fo-red"; Marsha becomes "fee fi mo-arsha".)

This is not the name game that I am referring to. Thank you Wikipedia for such a detailed description though. The name game that I am referring to is the one where I try to make sense of all the names that my family, friends, and colleagues call me. Here is a list.

• Asher
• Ash
• 
  
  Ashy
• Ash Man
• Ashybub
• The Lad
• The Boy
• Little Dude
• Bub
• Bubba
• Ashygog
• The Lord Azerael, Prince of Darkness, King of the Night, Slayer of the Weak (Just kidding)
• Asherbaijan
• Little Man
• Solo
• Asher Solomon Frederic(k) [only when I am getting in trouble]
• Asher Yonah Zalman
• GRRRRAAAAAHHHHH (what Gillian calls me when she charges me)

That is all I can think of, there are probably more. This whole name thing is confusing. I think I am going to sip some Earl Gray, read the Journal, suck on my binky and then nap for an hour until I wake wanting Dinner. I love room service. I hope this never ends. It is, as they say, the good life.

Edit: Aparently I forgot another name.  Meatloaf.  Sorry Gila.  It won't happen again. And I guess I am also known as Pickleman.  I wish I had a cape. 

Things that go bump in the night.

Liana here. I wanted to inform everyone that we live in a haunted house. My sister, Gillian, is a believer, but Asher has not yet been sold. Let us take a tour of the paranormal activity that is happening here in our pleasant home. This is all true, mind you.

First, there is a talking doorknob in my room. It keeps us awake unless we put a sock on it. Apparently, the best sock to shut up the knob is a hand knit sock that our Aunt Wedgie made. It is a problem if that sock is not on the knob. I guess the talking knob has been with us about a year now, or when me and my sister started sharing a room. It only talks at night and only when we are trying to go to sleep.

Next, when I had my own room, there was a hairball that was somersaulting across the room. It would go in and out of my laundry hamper. It really bothered me, so I slept with a hairbrush to scare it away. I thought it had gone away, but it makes an appearance every once in a while.

Is it a coincidence that these things happen when I'm trying to go to sleep? I think so. Sometimes I think they might have been dreams, but I don't really believe that either.

P.S. Asher now loves plums. He will scream if you try to take his away.

I Feel the Love

I know my fans love me. The fanmail pours in, delivered to my crib mailbox. I thought this love extended to my immediate circle--my entourage, if you will. One of the inner circle, my sister Gillian, seems not to understand my role in the family. After a long day of shopping and schlepping, me nestled comfortably in my carseat, my sisters beating on each other in their carseats, I hear this question posed:

"When we lose this baby, can we get a girl baby?"

Take a look at that. "When we lose THIS baby." What am I? Don't they realize I am here to stay? Should I be scared to sleep tonight? She loses toys all the time. Did these toys no longer serve her purpose? Were they conveniently "lost?" Lee, if you know of a good bodyguard who protects diminutive gentlemen such as myself, shoot me their digits. I don't want to end up like a My Little Pony, Barbie, or Care Bear--those that have been left behind.

You can't tell, but I'm terrified.