My New Goal

World domination takes a little longer than I expected, so in the meantime, I've created a new goal for myself...scaring the crap out of my parents. I'm getting quite good at it. Here are some of my accomplishments:

--Mom was making dinner. Normally when this happens she opens the drawer of spatulas, measuring cups, etc., for me to play with. I started to play in the drawer, but there are only so many times you can toss kitchen utensils on the floor. So I silently scooted away. Mom turns around to check on me and where am I? Standing on top of the girls' picnic table.

--The girls were getting ready for a bath. Bathtub was filling up and Mom was helping the girls open some new bath toys. I was leaning into the tub trying to reach the toys that were already in the water. Mom kept pulling me back, but I finally got enough momentum and launched myself into the tub, completely clothed. It was exhilarating for me--I rarely get to be in the big bathtub without the girls. Mom didn't seem as thrilled.

--We were at Nana and Gaga's house. The Bears had just lost their chance at the Superbowl and Mom had just arrived with Chinese food, so there was lots of commotion. Louie, Scott, and Casey were there too. And Casey makes the girls crazy. One of Liana's favorite activities is putting peanut butter on her face and letting Casey lick it off. Casey is a dog, in case you didn't know. Anyway, in all the commotion, I guess everyone thought somebody else was watching me, so I took my opportunity. Nana and Gaga have a tall, winding staircase in their front entryway. It is awesome, and no one ever lets me try it. So, since everyone was distracted, I went for it. And it was amazing! Mom found me about 30 seconds later when I had made it to the top of the stairs, and I don't know what she was so upset about.

So, you can see that I've gotten pretty good at scaring my parents. Now I just have to figure out how to keep everything fresh so they don't learn my tricks!

The Dropsies

This is the name of my new game. If you hand me something--food, toys, anything--I drop it. Then I get angry that I don't have it. It's a great way to make the people around me do whatever I want them to do. Also, things are just more entertaining when they're flying through the air. Plus, the best part of the game? Food tastes better when it's on the floor. I don't know why they bother putting me in my highchair anymore. I spend about two minutes there, throwing food and yelling, and then Mom or Dad lets me out and I help "clean" the floor. Which means I eat everything I just threw on the floor. I like it because it gives me more freedom. You wouldn't want to be strapped to a chair while you were eating, would you?

I also have some new words. You may remember the list of my nicknames I posted a few months ago. If not, you can check it out here. One of my earliest and weirdest nicknames, given to me by none other than Gillian (of course), is Ashy Bub. I think it was a shorted version of Asher Baby, but Gillian moves so fast and rarely finishes anything she starts, so out came Ashy Bub. And, of all the nicknames I could have, that is the one that stuck. I am also called other versions of that nickname, such as Baby Bub, Bub, and Bubba. I have never been 100% sold on it, but I decided to embrace it, so now in addition to Mama and Dada, I also say Bub. I also recently started mooing. Ask me what a cow says. I dare you.

I don't have any new pictures of me right now, so here is a picture of Gillian with gingerbread men. Poor cookies.

I love Kiwis, and I am not talking about the bird!

This is Liana doing this post. One day I was eating Kiwi and I ate them until my tummy hurt. I ate sixteen kiwis. They are soooooo fuzzy. Umm. I really really like them because they are sooooo yummy. I love them because they are so juicy and green. I like the color green because it is the color of my eyes. I would eat kiwis a million times. I would eat them at breakfast, lunch, snack, and dinner. They are my favorite fruit. I used to be scared of them because they were so fuzzy, but now I love them. Kiwis make me happy. They tickle. Now that I am five, I eat things that I would not eat when I was four.

Snow Daze

So I know I already posted today, but I just had to post again.  Jacqui and Audrey, my dad told me you were upset about the lack of my writing.  I will do better Jacqui, but I might need accommodations. And Audrey,  I hope you will still be my special lady this summer even though I have been a literary tease. 

I wanted to go to sleep tonight at my normal time, but no one would take me down.  I understand going up steps, but down steps seem surprisingly steep.  That was some rocking alliteration.  I did get to see something interesting though:  my father anticipating a Snow Day.  Many interesting things happened.  First, he pretended to write his subplans and work for his training that he had scheduled for Thursday.  What he was really doing was his 4 pronged storm research approach.  First he had the news on and was listening to the reports of the weather.  Second he had KSDK's web page of school closures up. Even though the site auto updates every two minutes, he still updated again and again.  Third was Google Maps.  This was so he could see where the school districts that closed were located.  Finally, he had Facebook up to see what his Social Network had to say about the snow.  With periodic checks out the window, my dad made his prediction:  there would be no school and no training for him tomorrow.  The big issue was Richwoods had not called off.  This might not seem like a big deal for the uninitiated, but it is a huge deal!  My dad works for Rockwood.  Two letters has the potential to shatter many students' hopes and dreams of a lazy day lounging in sweatpants.  But it is often Richwoods and not Rockwood.  My dad says "If there is a flake of snow in Missouri, Richwoods cowers in fear."  What perplexed my dad was that Richwoods was still in session.  It had not called off.  How could Rockwood call off if Richwoods had not?  Could Rockwood call out while Richwoods was in session?  This had never happened before.

But it did.  At 10:15pm, Rockwood called off closely followed by my dad's training.  Rockwood before Richwoods.  Rockwood... before Richwoods.  As I write this in a daze because my dad is too busy not working to put me to sleep, I realize that even as people grow up, there are still simple joys that are always loved.  Everyone loves a snow day.  It brings out the child.  I think that the teachers look forward to the snow day more than the students.  I know that the thing that I am most looking forward to is my dad being there to protect me from the whirlwind of destruction that is Liana and Gillian.  And now that he has quit Facebook games cold turkey, he should be able to protect me even more!

Rockwood before Richwoods, what next?  Gillian not dumping any container of anything she holds?  Who knows...  Stranger things have happened.

At 11:00pm, as I am getting ready to be changed, fed, and put down to slumber with The Frog, Richwoods has not called off.  I wonder how all those Richwoodians feel now...

Good night all and I will try to be a better blogger.

Big News

I didn't realize how long it had been since my last post. Things have been busy around here. Mom has a real job now, so she doesn't have as much time to help me with these posts. Or do laundry. You should see the pile that is growing in our laundry room. It's terrifying. It's a good thing that people keep buying me new clothes so I have something to wear besides diapers. She has been finding time to wash my diapers at least. Hasn't found the time to fold them though. I guess I can make do with wrinkled diapers.

Uncle Jack and Aunt Lisa came to visit last weekend. We had lots of fun. They helped contribute to my new wardrobe, so I have a few more days to go before I have to start worrying about what to wear. They also introduced me to one of the loudest places in the world--Chuck E. Cheese's. Apparently my sisters love going there because they get to play games and win prizes. I think Uncle Jack and my Daddy love going there even more and just use us kids as an excuse to get in. I was a little overwhelmed. Mom kept me in the mei tai, but I also would have liked the chance to get out and suck on all the bright lights and flashy things.

Now for the big news you have all been waiting for...I took one step! Ok, so it doesn't really count as walking yet, but at least I'm moving in the right direction. It won't be long now and then watch out, here I come!

I love my dishwasher.

Hedgehog's got a new flatscreen...

Asher here.  When I am not blogging, working on my porfolio, or enjoying the fine art of building tiny sailboats in bottles, I am searching the internet for amazing things to show my sisters to distract them enough to get to my mom's protective arms before Gillian hurts me.  In one of my Youtube surf-aries I came across the collected works of the modern day genius, Parry Gripp.  You might know him as the front man of the band Nerf Herder.  What I bring you today has the power to warm any angry heart.  This video could bring world peace if everyone would just watch it.  This video protects me from Gillian.  I bring you now, Fuzzy Fuzzy Cute Cute!

Watch the rest of his videos and listen to his songs at parrygripp.com.  I would like to recommend some of our other favorites videos:

• This is the best burrito I've ever eaten
• Baby Monkey riding backwards on a pig
• Wiener dog riding a skateboard

On his radio parrygripp.com, "I wana be your Randy Quaid" is really good too. 

Enjoy the smile that is going to be on your face.  Post your favorite Parry Gripp song or video,  it can be sharing time.  That is all for today and remember, "keep on dancing on that cellphone you crazy little chicken!"

Here's Johnny!



I AM AWESOME! 



All work and no play make Asher a dull boy.

All work and no play make Asher a dull boy.

All work and no play make Asher a dull boy.

All work and no play make Asher a dull boy.

All work and no play make Asher a dull boy.

All work and no play make Asher a dull boy.

All work and no play make Asher a dull boy.

All work and no play make Asher a dull boy.

All work and no play make Asher a dull boy.

All work and no play make Asher a dull boy.

All work and no play make Asher a dull boy.

All work and no play make Asher a dull boy.

All work and no play make Asher a dull boy.

All work and no play make Asher a dull boy.

All work and no play make Asher a dull boy.

All work and no play make Asher a dull boy.

I want to play.  At Camp, there are people for me to play with.   I really want to be at camp. 

(as you can see, I really had nothing to say today, but I wanted to give you a preview of a picture some of you will see in publication.  How can you hide this cuteness?  Really.  How do you?)