Thursday, April 14, 2011

To Boldly Go Where No Toddler Has Gone BEFORE!

I have returned from the void and I come bearing gifts.  Where have I been?  I will get to that in a few moments.  Let me explain a couple of key points.  Gillian has a normal full size regular height big girl twin bed.  Liana does not.  Liana's bed was once the pull out part of a trundle bed from when Aunt Rin was a youngin.  It is old, held together by aged springs, and tilts oddly to the left.  Needless to say, my parents try to keep me from exploring under Liana's bed, or as I like to call it, THE CAVE OF WONDERS!
Just like Aladdin looking for that silly Neti Pot that grants wishes, I have yearned, no, desired, no, craved finding what treasures are hiding in that land lost in time.  (Even the lint bunnies are prehistoric, mutated, and inorganic,)  A few nights ago, I had a small window of time while Gillian and Liana inadvertently distracted Mom.  Like a bat out of hell, I went into the chasm of quandary.  I saw wonderful wonders and fantastical fancies.  To those watching, they would have seen my torso and legs slowly get slurped up like my sisters sucking up spaghetti.  While in there, I looked around and found something truly amazing.  Something that had the power to prove my theories.  I found...
wait for it...
wait for it...

A Binky!

Not impressed?  You say that they are all over my house and easy to find if one looks?  Let me remind you of the Lost Binky Theory that will be published in the summer issue of Awesome Baby (a peer edited journal by babies for babies who are awesome).  I got a column in it, of course, since I am awesomeness personified.
Once one binky has been found, other lost binkies will turn up.  Also the more lost the primary binky was, the greater the treasure trove that will be found.
This binky was not from the normal stock. This binky was an infant binky not seen in rotation for a good eight months. How did it get under the bed in the first place? I wasn't even mobile when I would have last used it. I thought Mom had collected and thrown away all of its kind. But, alas, one remains. One baby binky to rule them all. I can't even begin to imagine the treasures that will come to me now.

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