My New Goal

World domination takes a little longer than I expected, so in the meantime, I've created a new goal for myself...scaring the crap out of my parents. I'm getting quite good at it. Here are some of my accomplishments:

--Mom was making dinner. Normally when this happens she opens the drawer of spatulas, measuring cups, etc., for me to play with. I started to play in the drawer, but there are only so many times you can toss kitchen utensils on the floor. So I silently scooted away. Mom turns around to check on me and where am I? Standing on top of the girls' picnic table.

--The girls were getting ready for a bath. Bathtub was filling up and Mom was helping the girls open some new bath toys. I was leaning into the tub trying to reach the toys that were already in the water. Mom kept pulling me back, but I finally got enough momentum and launched myself into the tub, completely clothed. It was exhilarating for me--I rarely get to be in the big bathtub without the girls. Mom didn't seem as thrilled.

--We were at Nana and Gaga's house. The Bears had just lost their chance at the Superbowl and Mom had just arrived with Chinese food, so there was lots of commotion. Louie, Scott, and Casey were there too. And Casey makes the girls crazy. One of Liana's favorite activities is putting peanut butter on her face and letting Casey lick it off. Casey is a dog, in case you didn't know. Anyway, in all the commotion, I guess everyone thought somebody else was watching me, so I took my opportunity. Nana and Gaga have a tall, winding staircase in their front entryway. It is awesome, and no one ever lets me try it. So, since everyone was distracted, I went for it. And it was amazing! Mom found me about 30 seconds later when I had made it to the top of the stairs, and I don't know what she was so upset about.

So, you can see that I've gotten pretty good at scaring my parents. Now I just have to figure out how to keep everything fresh so they don't learn my tricks!

The Dropsies

This is the name of my new game. If you hand me something--food, toys, anything--I drop it. Then I get angry that I don't have it. It's a great way to make the people around me do whatever I want them to do. Also, things are just more entertaining when they're flying through the air. Plus, the best part of the game? Food tastes better when it's on the floor. I don't know why they bother putting me in my highchair anymore. I spend about two minutes there, throwing food and yelling, and then Mom or Dad lets me out and I help "clean" the floor. Which means I eat everything I just threw on the floor. I like it because it gives me more freedom. You wouldn't want to be strapped to a chair while you were eating, would you?

I also have some new words. You may remember the list of my nicknames I posted a few months ago. If not, you can check it out here. One of my earliest and weirdest nicknames, given to me by none other than Gillian (of course), is Ashy Bub. I think it was a shorted version of Asher Baby, but Gillian moves so fast and rarely finishes anything she starts, so out came Ashy Bub. And, of all the nicknames I could have, that is the one that stuck. I am also called other versions of that nickname, such as Baby Bub, Bub, and Bubba. I have never been 100% sold on it, but I decided to embrace it, so now in addition to Mama and Dada, I also say Bub. I also recently started mooing. Ask me what a cow says. I dare you.

I don't have any new pictures of me right now, so here is a picture of Gillian with gingerbread men. Poor cookies.

I love Kiwis, and I am not talking about the bird!

This is Liana doing this post. One day I was eating Kiwi and I ate them until my tummy hurt. I ate sixteen kiwis. They are soooooo fuzzy. Umm. I really really like them because they are sooooo yummy. I love them because they are so juicy and green. I like the color green because it is the color of my eyes. I would eat kiwis a million times. I would eat them at breakfast, lunch, snack, and dinner. They are my favorite fruit. I used to be scared of them because they were so fuzzy, but now I love them. Kiwis make me happy. They tickle. Now that I am five, I eat things that I would not eat when I was four.

Snow Daze

So I know I already posted today, but I just had to post again.  Jacqui and Audrey, my dad told me you were upset about the lack of my writing.  I will do better Jacqui, but I might need accommodations. And Audrey,  I hope you will still be my special lady this summer even though I have been a literary tease. 

I wanted to go to sleep tonight at my normal time, but no one would take me down.  I understand going up steps, but down steps seem surprisingly steep.  That was some rocking alliteration.  I did get to see something interesting though:  my father anticipating a Snow Day.  Many interesting things happened.  First, he pretended to write his subplans and work for his training that he had scheduled for Thursday.  What he was really doing was his 4 pronged storm research approach.  First he had the news on and was listening to the reports of the weather.  Second he had KSDK's web page of school closures up. Even though the site auto updates every two minutes, he still updated again and again.  Third was Google Maps.  This was so he could see where the school districts that closed were located.  Finally, he had Facebook up to see what his Social Network had to say about the snow.  With periodic checks out the window, my dad made his prediction:  there would be no school and no training for him tomorrow.  The big issue was Richwoods had not called off.  This might not seem like a big deal for the uninitiated, but it is a huge deal!  My dad works for Rockwood.  Two letters has the potential to shatter many students' hopes and dreams of a lazy day lounging in sweatpants.  But it is often Richwoods and not Rockwood.  My dad says "If there is a flake of snow in Missouri, Richwoods cowers in fear."  What perplexed my dad was that Richwoods was still in session.  It had not called off.  How could Rockwood call off if Richwoods had not?  Could Rockwood call out while Richwoods was in session?  This had never happened before.

But it did.  At 10:15pm, Rockwood called off closely followed by my dad's training.  Rockwood before Richwoods.  Rockwood... before Richwoods.  As I write this in a daze because my dad is too busy not working to put me to sleep, I realize that even as people grow up, there are still simple joys that are always loved.  Everyone loves a snow day.  It brings out the child.  I think that the teachers look forward to the snow day more than the students.  I know that the thing that I am most looking forward to is my dad being there to protect me from the whirlwind of destruction that is Liana and Gillian.  And now that he has quit Facebook games cold turkey, he should be able to protect me even more!

Rockwood before Richwoods, what next?  Gillian not dumping any container of anything she holds?  Who knows...  Stranger things have happened.

At 11:00pm, as I am getting ready to be changed, fed, and put down to slumber with The Frog, Richwoods has not called off.  I wonder how all those Richwoodians feel now...

Good night all and I will try to be a better blogger.

Big News

I didn't realize how long it had been since my last post. Things have been busy around here. Mom has a real job now, so she doesn't have as much time to help me with these posts. Or do laundry. You should see the pile that is growing in our laundry room. It's terrifying. It's a good thing that people keep buying me new clothes so I have something to wear besides diapers. She has been finding time to wash my diapers at least. Hasn't found the time to fold them though. I guess I can make do with wrinkled diapers.

Uncle Jack and Aunt Lisa came to visit last weekend. We had lots of fun. They helped contribute to my new wardrobe, so I have a few more days to go before I have to start worrying about what to wear. They also introduced me to one of the loudest places in the world--Chuck E. Cheese's. Apparently my sisters love going there because they get to play games and win prizes. I think Uncle Jack and my Daddy love going there even more and just use us kids as an excuse to get in. I was a little overwhelmed. Mom kept me in the mei tai, but I also would have liked the chance to get out and suck on all the bright lights and flashy things.

Now for the big news you have all been waiting for...I took one step! Ok, so it doesn't really count as walking yet, but at least I'm moving in the right direction. It won't be long now and then watch out, here I come!

I love my dishwasher.

Hedgehog's got a new flatscreen...

Asher here.  When I am not blogging, working on my porfolio, or enjoying the fine art of building tiny sailboats in bottles, I am searching the internet for amazing things to show my sisters to distract them enough to get to my mom's protective arms before Gillian hurts me.  In one of my Youtube surf-aries I came across the collected works of the modern day genius, Parry Gripp.  You might know him as the front man of the band Nerf Herder.  What I bring you today has the power to warm any angry heart.  This video could bring world peace if everyone would just watch it.  This video protects me from Gillian.  I bring you now, Fuzzy Fuzzy Cute Cute!

Watch the rest of his videos and listen to his songs at parrygripp.com.  I would like to recommend some of our other favorites videos:

• This is the best burrito I've ever eaten
• Baby Monkey riding backwards on a pig
• Wiener dog riding a skateboard

On his radio parrygripp.com, "I wana be your Randy Quaid" is really good too. 

Enjoy the smile that is going to be on your face.  Post your favorite Parry Gripp song or video,  it can be sharing time.  That is all for today and remember, "keep on dancing on that cellphone you crazy little chicken!"

Here's Johnny!



I AM AWESOME! 



All work and no play make Asher a dull boy.

All work and no play make Asher a dull boy.

All work and no play make Asher a dull boy.

All work and no play make Asher a dull boy.

All work and no play make Asher a dull boy.

All work and no play make Asher a dull boy.

All work and no play make Asher a dull boy.

All work and no play make Asher a dull boy.

All work and no play make Asher a dull boy.

All work and no play make Asher a dull boy.

All work and no play make Asher a dull boy.

All work and no play make Asher a dull boy.

All work and no play make Asher a dull boy.

All work and no play make Asher a dull boy.

All work and no play make Asher a dull boy.

All work and no play make Asher a dull boy.

I want to play.  At Camp, there are people for me to play with.   I really want to be at camp. 

(as you can see, I really had nothing to say today, but I wanted to give you a preview of a picture some of you will see in publication.  How can you hide this cuteness?  Really.  How do you?)

Happy Birthday Great Grandpa Bernie!

Today was my Great Grandpa Bernie's 88th birthday party! We were sorry that we couldn't be there to celebrate with him this weekend, but we hear he had a great party. Of course, you can't really have a party unless I'm around. You can't blame them for trying though.

I wanted to apologize for the blog hijacking that happened on Friday. It was embarrassing, I know. My sister's just don't have the vocabulary and eloquence that I have. I guess they hacked into my account when I was sleeping. I knew they had been learning how to use the computer, but I didn't know they were that good. I'm sorry you had to be subjected to that.

And now, a story.  We were at Nana and Gaga's house last night and we were getting ready to go home. It was late, so the girls were crabby, but they were trying to stall. Liana found a book that she wanted to take home with her. Gillian picked an orange out of the fruit bowl and announced that it was her new best friend and that she wanted to take it home and sleep with it. Mom was tired and didn't think it was worth fighting, so we got in the car and Gillian snuggled up with her orange. By the time we got home, Gillian had fallen asleep, so Mom picked up her and her orange and started carrying her to bed. On the way, she started talking in her sleep, "Where's my orange? Where's my best friend?" Mom showed it to her and tucked it in to bed with her. Sometime during the night, Gillian joined the rest of the family in Mom and Dad's bed. When Mom and Dad woke up this morning, what did they find snuggled up with them? Yes, 3 children, but also, the orange! She attempted to eat her best friend later today, but failed because, as she said, "It was too squishy."  I guess that is what happens when you sleep with citrus.

That's all for now.  Happy birthday Great Grandpa Bernie!

"No Lee, I am not walking, but I am kicking!"

A Pony

Hello, everyone, this is Gillian. When I was playing ponies Liana said not to play with Sweetie Belle because Sweetie Belle is Liana's pony. So I played with my little ponies Pinkie and Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo and Toola Roola. I love ponies. My favorite pony is Toola Roola because she paints.

I have a new snowman shirt and the snowman is wearing a heart. It's also wearing a snow hat. My shirt is pink. I love pink. I am also wearing my pink skirt and my sparkly pink leggings. I love pink.

I Love Lollipops

This is is Liana. I love lollipops. I loved them so much I turned into one! And I was still talking when I was a lollipop and then someone came and ate me up! Isn't that funny?

I went back to school this week and tonight we get to go back to school for Shabbat. And we get to eat noodles! This week we got to play on Millie's playground. Millie is Ms. Karen's pig that lives in our classroom. She's a kosher pig, not really. Millie's is playground is cool because it has a sandbox and a house. I like playing in the sandbox.

That's all I want to write about today. Shabbat shalom!

Man of Two Words

First, some of you are wondering if I have started walking yet. Well, I like to leave you all in suspense. I am doing a lot of unassisted standing (standing and waving a cell phone in the air is one of my favorite activities) as well as a lot of cruising around the furniture (that is why the TV tray incident happened). But, you're just going to have to wait for the walking.  I will bide my time and do it when you're least expecting it.

I do have other things to report. You all know by know that I have a very large vocabulary when it comes to writing. However, my baby vocal chords are not quite developed enough to say anything that you adults can understand. I did recently figure out how to say Mama and Dada. It's funny, because they're such simple words, but anytime I say them Mom and Dad turn into blubbering doofuses. I do have a new game with my mom though. They think I'm a trained monkey or something so they're always telling me to say this or say that. I used to comply--it's funny to see your parents act like a doofus. Then I realized it's even funnier if, when my mom tells me to say Mama, I say Dada instead. It seems to keep them entertained.

So, just like we did the Food Watch 2010 when I started on solids, we'll keep a list of all my spoken words here. My parents told me that when Liana and Gillian were learning how to talk they kept lists of all their words on the refrigerator. That was so 2000s. We're in the 2010s now, so we'll do things bloggerifically.

Another vintage picture since Daddy is hogging the good computer:

Dada? Doofus.

Happy New Year!

I know that I do not have much experience with this matter, but this has certainly been my best year ever!  I have had such joy this year that has been shared with all my loyal followers.  First of all, my NCAA Brackets worked flawlessly and I won big at the office pool.  That was a great way to get started.

Also, I was born, so that makes it a pretty awesome year for everyone!

I know my posts have been few and far between lately, so I'm hoping to start getting back on track. What's been going on with me? Well, there have been a lot of sick people in my family--aka, everyone has been sick. I think we keep passing it back and forth to each other. Gillian and I have been trading who has a fever for about two weeks. She gets one for a couple days, I get one for a couple days. At least she's sharing, right?

I had an exciting day on Friday--my first New Year's Eve Day. It started with tornadoes. None actually came to our house, but we were in the basement for quite a while, and the girls were freaked out. Then, just as the weather was calming down and we were getting ready to go to Nana and Gaga's house for our New Year's Eve bash, I knocked over a TV tray. If only that were the end of it. As it was falling, I fell on top of it. And where did my finger go? In between the legs as they were closing. Mom was right by me (Gillian was on her head, which was why she didn't stop me from getting to the TV tray in the first place), and Dad rushed in, but it took them awhile to get the legs to open. When my finger came out, it was flat. Now maybe if I could remember my bris I would say that was the worst pain I've ever experienced, but since I thankfully cannot remember that day, I have to say that my flat finger was the worst pain I've ever experienced. Luckily, we were going to Nana and Gaga's house where there is a neonatologist and an almost pediatrician, so my bad hand was in good hands. Nothing was broken except some skin, and the normal chunkiness returned to my finger shortly after the incident.

Now, a funny story, so I don't have to leave you with thought of my flat finger. We were in the car today after taking Aunt Rin to the airport. Liana and Gillian are in the back row of the van, and I am in the middle row rear-facing, so I can watch them. They were mad at each other, as usual. Here is what happened:

Gillian: <picks her nose.> Liana, do you want to eat my booger?
Liana: Mom, Gillian is making me eat her boogers!
Mom: <laughs> Gross!
Gillian: <eats the booger> I ate it!
Liana: Yuck!
Gillian: Yum! It's in my tummy!

Then she starts making up a song about eating boogers.

That's my sister!