Changing the Game

I am not happy. I recently discovered some information that changes everything. Yesterday morning we were eating breakfast--the delicious combination of toast and peanut butter--and Liana's starts complaining about her tooth hurting. Now, Liana and Gillian are always complaining about various phantom pains and ailments, so we didn't pay much attention to her. A moment later, she yells,"My tooth is wiggling! I have a loose tooth!"

Mom and Gillian rush over to her to investigate and sure enough, one of her bottom front teeth is wiggling. I think a trip to the dentist is in my future, but she starts jumping up and down, cheering. "Yay! I can't wait for it to fall out so I can use my tooth pillow and get a prize from the Tooth Fairy!"

What now? You're telling me that I spent the last year of my life suffering as my beautiful teeth pushed their way through my gums and now they're just going to fall out when I'm five? Not acceptable. I've currently got four molars coming in, so my normally pleasant demeanor has been replaced by a crabby one that can be set off by anything (today I cried any time I dropped something on the floor and any time someone left a room). But now I've discovered that this pain is all in vain. What's the point?

I'm not happy with you, teeth. This is not the end of this.

P.S. Liana brought home the news from her classmates that the Tooth Fairy is now paying $5 per tooth. Maybe I'll reconsider.