Thursday, November 10, 2011

A Day in the Life

Doing a post like this last year was a big hit, so I thought I'd try it again. Sorry the day didn't include any pooping on the floor or vomiting. I did my best. Happy birthday to Gila and happy "Wear Your Ramah T-Shirt Day!"

7:15 am: Wake up to Gillian's screaming. She has already lost her dress for the day (one of the biggest consequences she can get), and now she has lost TV for the day. Oh, the horror.

7:16 am: Dad gets me from my crib and realizes I am covered in jelly goo from my diaper exploding. Reason #27 I do not like disposable diapers.

7:20 am: Into the shower with Mom. I like to line up all the soap bottles and talk to them like they are my minions.

7:30 am: It's "Wear Your Ramah T-Shirt Day," so Mom and Dad are trying to convince the girls to wear their shirts. Rioting ensues. If my shirt fit me I would wear it, but it goes down to my feet. Only Mom and Dad end up wearing their shirts.

7:50 am: Breakfast musical chairs. Liana has Cocoa Puffs with no milk. I have Cocoa Puffs with no milk. Gillian has the unholy combination of Cocoa Puffs, Frosted Mini Wheats, and Raisin Bran with milk. I take Liana's bowl. Liana takes my bowl. Mom brings out cups of milk and tells the girls not to drink mine. Therefore, I don't want to drink mine, so I drink Gillian's. Gillian pours her mushy mess of cereal into my bowl (which was actually Liana's bowl) and asks for dry Frosted Mini Wheats. Mom refuses. Gillian screams. I take my original bowl back, leaving Liana with nothing. Liana gets a new bowl of Cocoa Puffs.

8:05 am: Begin the mad rush to get to the bus stop by 8:19 am. It was bad enough before, but now we have to deal with coats, hats, mittens, etc. It's ridiculous.

8:13 am: Ready to go outside. Mom has me strapped on her back and realizes I don't have a hat on. Liana has already gone out the door, so Mom hands Gillian my hat and asks her to put it on my head so she doesn't have to unstrap me. What is she thinking? Luckily, I survive.

8:22 am: My favorite part of the day. Bus! It's one of the few words I say that people besides Mom and Dad can actually understand.

8:45 am: Mom is trying to get me and Gillian into the car to take Gillian to school. I decide to poop because it's more fun to do it at the most inconvenient time possible.

9:00 am: We drop Gillian off at school and head to grocery shopping.

9:27 am: Some guy comments on how awesome my hat is. I don't care for it and am only wearing it because we couldn't find any others. I don't like people talking to me in grocery stores. I know I am awesome. You don't have to tell me. I look the other way and ignore the guy.

10:15 am: I help Mom carry the groceries into the house. She tries to give me small things like bread. I want to carry the #10 can of crushed tomatoes. I carry it a few feet and then decide I'd rather just roll it. I am big, strong and awesome.

11:00 am: Mom is cleaning out the pantry so I go to organize the spice cabinet (which means taking everything out of the spice cabinet and organizing it on the floor).

11:04 am: Mom finds a ball in the pantry and throws it to me. Goodbye, spice cabinet--my life has meaning now.

11:45 am: Have a tickle fight with Mom, during which she realizes I have four molars coming in. Now she knows why I've been cranky this week. It wasn't the time change, silly.

11:50 am: Mom has made me crazy now, so I'm just running around the house, screaming, and finding many crazy and fun ways to play with Mom's Camp Ramah sweatshirt. I turn the easel into a car and drive around the house, still screaming.

11:58 am: Stickers are more fun when you put them on your face.

12:05 pm: Lunch. Veggie burger, cheese, pickles.

12:40 pm: Mom tries to put my diaper on so we can go pick up Gillian. I am not interested, but she wins that battle.

12:50 pm: Into the car to get Gillian and I fall asleep.

3:55 pm: Up from my nap. Proceed to eat most of a jar of pickles. (Both in honor of Gila and in an attempt to bring about vomit for Gila's birthday today.)

4:04 pm: Out to the bus stop. Gillian stays home by herself to play computer. Is that really a good idea?

4:10 pm: Bus!

4:35 pm: Liana yells, "Gillian poured water on the computer!" Mom rushes over--it's only a couple drops.

4:40 pm: I'm vrooming my big pink Barbie car around the house because that how I roll. Lightning McQueen and Ramone (from the movie Cars) are driving the car. The more cars the better. After a few minutes of vrooming, I start crashing. They don't call me The Smasher for nothing. Gillian's ponies can't hide from me.

5:30 pm: Dinner. Spaghetti and broccoli. I actually eat the food that's on my plate instead of everyone else's.

6:15 pm: A little after-dinner smashing and then attempting to steal Halloween candy from my sisters.

6:30 pm: Bedtime already? I run naked through the hallway in an attempt to escape bedtime and the horrible nighttime disposable diaper. Again, I lose the diaper battle. The girls sit calmly reading with Mom while I read my favorite book, Banana. It's about two monkeys who want to share a banana and the only word in it is banana. I may only be 21 months old, but I can read my first book. Except I pronounce the word banana as "a-ya-ya."

7:00 pm: Into bed. I snuggle up with my eight binkies and stare at my nemesis The Frog as he lulls me off to slumberland.

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