Where's the Poop?

My parents should know better by now. They've known me for almost 13 months and my patterns are pretty predictable. Knowing my routines is part of their job. Yes, they know the routine that I generally only poop every other day. They take pride in that and the lack of gross diapers they have to deal with. But, the part they haven't figured out is that if I don't have a diaper on for an extended amount of time, I'm going to take advantage of that and poop on the floor.

It's already happened two times this week, plus many other times before. Both times I had already had my every other day poop earlier in the day so they thought they were safe and gave me extended naked time. Why did they think that? (Now don't get me wrong, I enjoy naked time, and I enjoy pooping on the floor--it's much more comfortable than doing it in a diaper and then having to sit in it until they change me.)

Last night was especially hilarious. They were getting the girls ready for bed and I was naked during stories (I always get to stay up later than the girls because if they're awake I won't go to sleep). Mom and Dad started to notice that the room smelled funny. They just thought it was Gillian--she may be little, but she is potent. Then everyone got up on Liana's bed and Dad noticed the turd on the floor. The girls freaked out, but Dad calmly cleaned it up and then continued storytime. During the next story, the room still smelled, so Mom and Dad started hunting through the room for any stray turds. Now, this is no easy feat. There is very little open floor in the girls' room. Between me pulling all the books off the shelf every night and the girls lining up their armies of ponies and stuffed animals through the room, there were a lot of places where a turd could be hiding. After several minutes of searching, they didn't find anything and figured it had just been an especially powerful turd.

Fast forward to this morning. Mom had just come out of the shower and found me dancing around in the crib. She picked me up and then followed Gillian into her room to help her get a dress out of the closet. Gillian pointed to the skirt she wanted and then Mom stepped forward to get it...and stepped right into my leftover turd from last night. Once she had stepped on it, it was fairly obvious, and I don't know how they missed it. Anyway, there was some screaming after that, first by Gillian and then Liana, and then I got a fun ride as Mom tried to hop back to the bathroom to get her foot cleaned off without getting any poop on the carpet.

I don't think anyone was very happy with me at that point, but I did have one thing going for me. Because I had thrown all the books on the floor last night and Mom had missed some of them when putting them back on the shelf, my lone turd got squished into a book instead of the carpet. Sorry, Little Quack's Hide and Seek.

Apparently, I have stealth ninja dookies.  My butt rocks.

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