Wednesday, November 10, 2010

This one's for Gila--a day off note for your birthday

Happy birthday to Gila! Gila is one of my mom's and dad's best and oldest friends. Mom and Dad were talking this morning about how it's her birthday and I learned about something called "day off notes." Back in the day when Mom and Gila were counselors at camp, when they didn't have their weekly day off together,whoever stayed in camp wrote a play-by-play of what was happening at camp. They were often inappropriate, always hilarious, and it sounds like they were all around awesome. So, even though I haven't gotten to meet Gila yet, I know how important she is to my family, and decided to try one of my own.

6:50 am: Wake up to Gillian in my face. Terrified. Also realize I'm in a puddle of pee big enough to cover me and Mom. Silly diaper. Good thing it's laundry day. Despite the pee, stay in bed snuggling with Mom for a few more minutes while Liana and Gillian watch "Curious George." Overhear Mom and Dad discussing the wonders of the day off note.

7:05 am: Diaper and pajamas are off. Sweet freedom!

7:10 am: Crawl around Mom and Dad's room while everyone starts getting ready for school.

7:20 am: Mom goes into Liana's room to get her a different shirt because Liana didn't like the first one she had.

7:21 am: Poop on the floor. (I'm pretty impressed that I did this. I don't poop every day, so to be able to time it to do it in the small window of time that I don't have a diaper on and Mom is not right next to me was pretty awesome.) Gillian yells, "Poop!" Mom runs in the room. Mom yells, "He's eating it!" (Because I am, in fact, eating it--both fists and my mouth are full and my binky is shoved into the pile on the floor.)

7:22 am: Bath in the sink.

7:30 am: Clothes on. Boo. Striped onesie and jean overalls. I am cute.

7:31 am: Continue to crawl around on the floor in Mom and Dad's room while everyone is getting ready for school. Avoid Gillian when I can. Get smooshed when I can't.

8:00 am: Breakfast. Blueberry puffs and banana. Definitely more delicious than the poop. Just about as messy. I have banana in my hair now.

8:10 am: Gillian pours her Raisin Bran on the floor. Why? "Because I'm done."

8:25 am: Liana and Gillian play doctor while Mom makes lunches and gets snacks ready. I continue to smear banana on myself.

8:32 am: Clean-up time. There is still banana on my overalls.

8:45 am: Off to school! It takes forever to get out of the house though, because Liana and Gillian have to bring their army of ponies.

8:50 am: Buckle, buckle, buckle everyone into the car. Plus, put on Gillian's shoes because she always takes her shoes off in the car and Mom doesn't have enough hands to carry them inside.

9:02 am: Long line at carpool. Everyone seems to be running late.

9:06 am: My favorite moment of the day. The teachers come in the car, flirt with me, and then take Liana and Gillian away!

9:15 am: Back home and time for a nap. Check back later for more updates!

Also, today I call myself Meat Loaf!

9:15 am-11:00 am: Nap time. That was a long one for me. I guess I was tired from waking up so early. And I wanted to give Mom a  break after dealing with the poop.

11:05 am: Diaper wrestling. I don't like getting my diaper changed, so I do everything I can to avoid it. I wiggle around and I like trying to grab the lid off the Vaseline jar that's on the changing table. It's blue and rectangular, good for chewing.

11:15 am: Mom puts laundry away in the girls' room. I love being in the girls' room when they're not around--so many good things to chew!

11:20 am: Time to move along the laundry. Another great opportunity for me. Mom puts me on the floor in the hallway which gives me the chance to go get the rocket ship night light. I love this night light. It's shaped like a rocket ship and it's green and sparkly. Any time I'm on the floor I go for it and they're usually fast enough to stop me. But, when Mom is doing laundry she's just distracted enough that I can get my hands on it. It's awesome! I don't know why they don't like me pulling it out of the wall and sucking on it.

11:45 am: Time to go sit in the car pool line again.

12:03 pm: Gillian gets in the car. Sadness. Normally she finds something to throw at me once she's in her seat. Today I am spared. We go to Nana and Gaga's house for lunch (their house is closer to school and we have less than an hour before we have to pick up Liana).

12:15 pm: Lunch. Butternut squash, broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, parsnips--in other words, vegetable soup without the broth. Also, banana puffs. All I really want is the butternut squash though. It's the best. And milk from Mom. But, then I start playing Bite the Nip and she won't let me have anymore milk. I scream, only because I want to keep playing the game.

12:52 pm: Back in the car pool line. Liana's class goes until 1 pm because she's in pre-K, and Gillian's class only goes until noon, but Mom and Dad don't want to pay $40 extra a week for Gillian to stay and eat lunch at school. So, it's annoying, but cost effective.

1:04 pm: Liana's in the car and we're off to the library.

1:20 pm: I love the library. There are lots of pillows for me to climb on, and lots of books for me to take off the shelves.

2:30 pm: Home from the library and I'm worn out. Time for another nap--check back later for another update!

2:30-3:30 pm: Just a short nap this afternoon to make up for the long one this morning.

3:30 pm: Another game of Bite the Nip.

3:45 pm: Mom makes popcorn for everyone but me! I spend the rest of snack time crawling around trying to eat whatever Gillian drops on the floor.

4:30 pm: Help Mom put in the 5th (yes, 5th!) load of laundry...and we still have one more load plus diapers in the pipeline. Victory is mine! I capture the rocket ship! It is quickly taken away from me.

4:45 pm: Bathtime for the girls. Gillian climbs in and before sitting down she pees all over the place.

4:47 pm: New water in the bath.  I keep trying to climb in, so Mom puts me in with them. I don't know whether to be happy or fearful. I like the water. It is warm. There are toys. So many foam letters for me to chew on! Yet, there is Gillian. I get a few cupfuls of water poured on my head, but don't go under at all, so I consider this bath a success.

5:30 pm: Dinner. Just about the same as lunch, with a few bites of the girls' mac and cheese.

6:30 pm: Time for bed. New stories from the library. Making up songs to sing to the girls. Snuggles all around.

I hope you've enjoyed this special Gila's birthday edition of Asher a Day. Back to your regularly scheduled blogging tomorrow. Good night!


  1. I must say it and I have waited a long time to do it. I LOVE THIS BLOG! Asher, you are one skilled blogger. Keep up the great work.

  2. Asher,
    I'm speechless!!!! Wait until you are potty trained!!!

  3. It's always good to hear from you, Nearded Beal!

  4. I had to come back because I just remembered the song: Nearded Beal, Nearded Beal, he has a neard and his name is Beal. I think there was more, but that's all I could remember!

  5. Wow, i laughed outloud the whole time. Wish I could have been there for all of it minus all the pee puddles and poop eating! Love you guys, (and kol hakavod to you Ann Lesley!)