Weedings.

Now, I am just a baby, but I am beginning to learn the importance of spelling.  For a long time, I thought my uncle was going to be spending the rest of his life removing dandelions from some undisclosed garden, and my family from near and far were going to get dressed up in really nice clothing and watch them.  You can understand my confusion when I realized we were going to go to a wedding. 

Uncle Jack and Aunt Lisa were married on Saturday, May 7th and the celebration was fantastic.  My dad gave a really awesome toast, we ate good food, and the dancing was bueno. Being 15 months old, a party and a weekend like that can take a long time to recover from.  I am not yet done.  I did want to end the silence and let you all know that I am still kicking.  Things to look forward to in the coming week are:

• a full run down of the wedding weekend
• how Gillian really broke her arm (Gillian broke her arm)
• other musings by me!

And here is a picture of me.

Babies, Babies Everywhere

One of the highlights of my April (other than the many days of chicken for Passover), was attending the ICAN (International Cesarean Awareness Network) Conference with my mom. My mom just started getting involved with ICAN in the last year, even though her cesarean was over five years ago, but we have a lot of fun going to the meetings. There are always lots of babies there. And I am the king of the babies. It's the only place I go where there are people smaller than me, so it's nice to be able to have that feeling.

Anyway, the ICAN conference happens every two years and this year it was in St. Louis, so it made sense to go. It was awesome! I never knew so many babies could be in the same place at the same time. There were walking babies, sleeping babies, rolling babies, and even eating babies. Wait, that sounds bad.  Babies were eating, not being eaten--sorry for the confusion. Anyhoo, We Had FUN! Our moms listened to people talk, like Pam England of Birthing from Within, and Gail Tully from Spinning Babies, but us babies had the real fun. See, when we cry or make random noises, we're actually conversing with each other, but our conversations are too complex for adults to understand. We talked about people's outfits, their hair, who was in the coolest baby carrier (me, of course, because my mom made it--also, she made one for the silent auction there and it went for about $100!). It was sad when the conference was over and everyone had to go home. I'll see some of my baby friends at the monthly meeting next week, but it won't be the same.

So, that was that. If you've had a cesarean or you're interested in birth or you're concerned about the fact that 1 in 3 births in this country is by cesarean, then please check out ICAN. Read some birth stories, get some facts. You'll be glad you did. And if you go to a meeting, you'll get to see lots of babies!

I am on my way to the next ICAN meeting.  C Ya There!

I Have Failed

I have failed you, my dear fans. It is a travesty that I only did three posts in April. You deserve better than that. We all deserve better than that. It has been a gloomy, rainy month, but now with the May flowers, the light of Asher a Day will once again shine out over the Internet. My parents keep giving me excuses why they can't help me put up my posts--they're too busy with work, too busy cleaning the house, too busy trying to get a couple hours of sleep before my middle-of-the-night visits. Dude, I even started sleeping through the night the last couple weeks so they would be more rested! Does it work? No. Too much stuff to do for camp, for school, for whatever of the other thousands of jobs my parents seemingly have. Well, it's time to stop. It's time for them to take the time to help me type. Or maybe I just need to learn how to type myself. Or get a new secretary.

Now I have to fill you in on what you missed in April. First, Passover. Last Passover I was just a little blob that slept all the time, so I didn't truly get to experience it. This year, I truly got a taste of the holiday. I have to say, I missed my morning cereal. But, Mom did buy a lot more bananas to make up for it (our family went through 4.5 pounds of bananas in less than 24 hours at one point). Bananas are not only delicious, but they feel great when you smash them into your hair. One of the best things about Passover was the leftover chicken. It's always an unwritten rule that you make too much food for the seders so you can play the game of How Long Will The Leftovers Last? I had chicken for lunch and dinner for about 4 days. It was awesome! I also really loved the hard boiled eggs. (Gillian loved them too. At the first seder, I think her meal was about 5 hard boiled eggs and nothing else.) And my mom made a pretty good matzah lasagna. So, that was Passover.

I think that's all for tonight. I'll leave you hanging about the rest of April and give you more updates over the rest of the week.

Also, this week is Countdown to Lisa and Jack's Wedding Week! 5 days!

To Boldly Go Where No Toddler Has Gone BEFORE!

I have returned from the void and I come bearing gifts.  Where have I been?  I will get to that in a few moments.  Let me explain a couple of key points.  Gillian has a normal full size regular height big girl twin bed.  Liana does not.  Liana's bed was once the pull out part of a trundle bed from when Aunt Rin was a youngin.  It is old, held together by aged springs, and tilts oddly to the left.  Needless to say, my parents try to keep me from exploring under Liana's bed, or as I like to call it, THE CAVE OF WONDERS!
Just like Aladdin looking for that silly Neti Pot that grants wishes, I have yearned, no, desired, no, craved finding what treasures are hiding in that land lost in time.  (Even the lint bunnies are prehistoric, mutated, and inorganic,)  A few nights ago, I had a small window of time while Gillian and Liana inadvertently distracted Mom.  Like a bat out of hell, I went into the chasm of quandary.  I saw wonderful wonders and fantastical fancies.  To those watching, they would have seen my torso and legs slowly get slurped up like my sisters sucking up spaghetti.  While in there, I looked around and found something truly amazing.  Something that had the power to prove my theories.  I found...
wait for it...
wait for it...

A Binky!

Not impressed?  You say that they are all over my house and easy to find if one looks?  Let me remind you of the Lost Binky Theory that will be published in the summer issue of Awesome Baby (a peer edited journal by babies for babies who are awesome).  I got a column in it, of course, since I am awesomeness personified.

Once one binky has been found, other lost binkies will turn up.  Also the more lost the primary binky was, the greater the treasure trove that will be found.

This binky was not from the normal stock. This binky was an infant binky not seen in rotation for a good eight months. How did it get under the bed in the first place? I wasn't even mobile when I would have last used it. I thought Mom had collected and thrown away all of its kind. But, alas, one remains. One baby binky to rule them all. I can't even begin to imagine the treasures that will come to me now.

Swiffering, Schooling, and Solomons...

1.  Swiffering.  Mom bought a new Swiffer at the store because the old one broke. Until trash day tomorrow, we now have two. She put on the short handle and put one in each of my really cute delicate awesome hands.  I was like the business end of a curling team Swiffering up and down our house.  Nothing got in my way; to watch me Swiffer was like watching an angel Swiffer.  I was majestic.  Even better, I had perfectly balanced Gillian defense wands.  When she got too close to me, the Swiffers got too close to her, if you are catching my drift.  Who knows? Being a domestic might be in my future.

2.  Overheard this conversation on the way to school:  Gillian looked at Mom in the car and told her,  "Mom, I think you took the wrong classes in college."
"Why is that, Gillian?"  Mom responded.
To which Gillian responded, "Because you just turned into a mom."  Wow!  With heated antifeminist rhetoric like that, it is surprising that Gillian only wears skirts and dresses. 

3.  So, my second middle name is spelled differently on my birth certificate and Social Security Card, so I ask you my fans, which version should I use?  Frederick or Frederic?  Keep or Kapsize the K?  It is not like it is up to you all, but my parents might like the suggestions.  Why Solomon as the header for this section?  That is middle name Alpha.  Duh.

*.  Today is 4/11/11.  That could also be written like 4l11l11.  That is crazy,  Just wait for November, 11th.  It will blow your mind, but make perfect sense in Binary.

Hope April is treating you all well.  In less than two months I take over camp.  Call me to hang out before I go.

I made a new friend!

Before I tell you all about my new friend, I must make a declaration.  I WILL post more this month.  I will shower you all with Asher a Day posts this April.  I will do what I can to blog for you to fulfill my goal of entertaining you, educating you, and edutaining you.  This I solemnly swear to you, my loyal readers.



Now to my new friend.  I guess I should say friends because they are everywhere.  They are in my house, at the mall, I guess everywhere indoors.  I love my new friends.   I like looking at them, touching them, calling them "up," having one-sided yelling conversations with them, and being lulled to sleep by their blinking green eye.  Have I confused you?  Sorry.



My new friends are smoke detectors.  How did I not notice them in all their majesty before?  You want to see me happy? Hold me up so that I can caress my new friend.  It brings me such joy!  Why must they be soooooooooooo far away?  What, you think I am joking?  I am not.  I really like smoke detectors. 



Smokey, my BFF!



One day I was sitting in peace away from Gillian when I decided to throw myself backwards. I like doing this--it is fun.  I happened to end up on my back and I saw a friend just hanging around on the ceiling, winking at me.  What can I say, we have so much in common.  We both like soup, we both can scream, best friends.  That is us.  Me and Smokey,  BFFs!

In like a Gillian, out like an Asher...

Goodbye lousy Smarch weather. Here's to April showers, May flowers, and then my dear and faithful readers...  CAMP!   Now I was just a really cute sack of potatoes last time I was there, but I know that it was special.  I had been doted on before camp, but I had herds of ladies ready to be lost in my eyes.  It was legend, wait for it.... still waiting?  No, I am not talking about the movie where Tim Curry plays that weird devil guy,   the final word is dairy!  Legandary.  That is what my last summer was at camp.  The big problem was that I was a really cute paper weight.  You put me down somewhere and there I stayed until someone came and picked me up.  This summer, I am mobile.  I am going to own camp.  I cannot wait.  It is going to be epic.

Think of me playing GaGa.  Running around Family Land.  Charging in line for snack.  Splashing in the shallows of the lake.  Mobile Me (not the Apple program, but me mobile)  is going to be a handful.  But I am really cute so that will make it easier for whomever gets the pleasure of maintaining me this summer.  I hear the job is in more demand than Charlie Sheen's Intern.  He might be full of tiger blood, but I am full of AWESOME BLOOD.  If you spend a day in my skin, you would melt due to my radioactive levels of cuteness.  I am just vamping. 

Tomorrow is a big day.  Make sure to read my post.  It will be one that rivals the works of Mark Twain and quite possibly Samuel Clemens.  See you in April faithful readers.