Things I do not understand

1. Why people wear pants?  I love walking around without pants.  I can pee or poop where ever it strikes my fancy.  I am like a majestic lion on the savannahs of Africa.  Yes, a lion.
2. Why do my parents use plates?  They look like frisbees and throw like them.  I prefer to eat off of my placemat before I use the placemat as a hat.  Less cleaning, less throwing.
3. Why my sisters don't play with trucks?  Wheels are so much more fun than pony legs.  
4. Why my parents get mad when I pull things off of shelves?  I like things on the ground so I pull large amounts of things on the ground.  Books, toys, clothing etc.  I like nesting in them.
5. Why can I not rock our tall chairs back and forth while standing on them?  I have not fallen yet so I clearly know what I am doing.
6. Why I am not allowed to do Traditional Irish Dancing on our counter high table top?  I have feet of flames and I am the little lord of the dance.  I need to express myself at counter top height.  Let my muse free from your stifling embrace, parents!
7. Why can I only use my toothbrush and not everyone else's in my family?  I have been told variety is the spice of life.  I want to live while brushing my teeth.
8. Why do people get frustrated when I walk up to the TV and turn it off while people are watching shows intently?  Really, I am curious.  I am just trying to conserve energy.
9. Why do people get upset when I hit them in the head or pull their hair?  Don't they want me to have fun?  I really do find this fun.
10. Why am I so cute?  Look at my parents.  Nuff said.  

More to come later as I have a lot of questions since I am just a baby.  Less than two weeks until I am two.  I bet I do not get a party.

11. Why will I not get a birthday party?  Me and Ari could paint the town red between naps.

All This Sourdough is Turning Me Sour

Ok, I was turning into Mr. Surly well before the great sourdough experiment started, but I thought that was a catchy title. My 2nd birthday is only a week and a half away and I am all ready. I have mastered the grumpy face, the evil death stare, and throwing myself down on the floor in a fit of rage.

Here are some of my conquests:

We have a spice cabinet built into the kitchen wall. I used to like to take the spices I could reach, make towers out of them, rearrange them in the cabinet and make sure they were all put away. Now I like to roll the circular jars all over the floor and not put them away. Also, I learned to open the jars and love to create different spice blends all over the kitchen floor.

I was at synagogue having lunch with Nana and the other people who work in the office. I had been playing with my food for about 20 minutes with no intention of eating it. Then Nana told me that if I didn't eat it one of the other people would. I gave that person the evil death stare of death.

Gillian is obsessed with a small plastic piggy bank that she keeps her coins in. Whenever I get my hands on it, I pound it on her head.

My parents think they are going to potty train me soon. I sat on the potty and did nothing but insisted on wearing my pants without a diaper. Then I pooped in my pants and let it roll down my leg and out onto the floor.

If you give me a cup, any cup, even a sippy cup, I will find a way to pour it all over the place. Then I will splash in it. Then I will drink it like I'm a dog. If I can do it near a computer, phone or tv remote, all the better.

I use the words "hopkah" and "guk" to mean many different things. When someone doesn't know what I'm talking about right away, I yell at them, throw things at them, and throw myself on the floor.

It's going to be a fun year!

Can You Tell Me if I'm Black or White?

The title of the post says it all. With Martin Luther King Day last week my sisters are learning all about race relations. Here are two stories for you.

#1. The girls asked Mom who Martin Luther King, Jr. was. Mom tried to explain things to them, about how people were treated badly based on the color of their skin and how MLK was trying to change things. The girls didn't seem to understand it--and I have to say I don't quite understand it either. People are people, right? Then Gillian said, "Well, there is one girl in the other Lizard class who has brown skin. But she's not just a person, she's my friend." She's actually her best friend (and partner in crime).

#2. The girls were supposed to be going to sleep and were avoiding it by asking questions. I know this because I was in my room pretending to be asleep. Liana said, "Mom, if I were alive in the time of Martin Luther King would I be black or white?"

Mom responded, "I think you would be just what you are now."

Liana said, "So, would I be black or white?"

Mom seemed confused and took a moment to respond. "You would be white."

Liana said, "No, I'm tan."

Mom then tried to explain that her tan skin is considered white.

Now I'm just a baby, but it seems like my sisters are on the right track.

I'm done.

Sourdough Roundup

There's been a lot of bread in our house lately, but it sure has been delicious. You might remember that when my dad was out of town my mom got really bored and experimented with creating a sourdough starter. We weren't really sure if it would work, but it has turned out quite nicely. I bring you my review of the recipes we've tried:

The original starter is here, if you feel like being adventurous:
Sourdough Starter

First we tried just a normal loaf of bread: Sourdough Bread
The starter was only a week old at this point, so it didn't have very much of that sour taste, but it still made a delicious bread. Crusty outside, chewy middle. Yum.

Then we had French Onion Soup in bread bowls: Sourdough Bread Bowls
The bowls didn't rise as much as we would have liked, so they were more cups than bowls, but still tasted awesome. If you want Mom's French Onion Soup recipe (it's only in her head, not on the internet), let me know and I'll see what I can do.

Next we had pizza: Sourdough Pizza Crust
This was a great, light crust for a pizza. Not quite as crispy as the usual crust we make, but still really good. It might need to be baked a few minutes before adding the toppings, and maybe up the temperature to 425 or 450, not 400 like the recipe says. We tried this with all white flour and with 1/2 cup of the white flour replaced with wheat flour. Both were good.

And, finally, challah: Sourdough Challah
The girls especially seem to like this better than any of the other challahs we've made (except for maybe the pretzel challah). The leftover challah is also very good for French Toast, and this recipe makes quite a bit (we do one large challah, plus three small ones), so you will have leftovers.

So, that's the beginning of our adventure into sourdough. We will definitely let you know if we find any other gems. In the meantime, it's Girl Scout Cookie time, so if you know us personally and are local, Liana would love to sell you some cookies.

Mmmm...tacos

Mr. Surly has been out for most of the day today. (See, stealing every possible toy from every possible kid at playgroup today, throwing self on floor in every possible location, screaming for the whole 15 minutes in the carpool line, and general all-around surliness.) Then we had dinner. The best dinner ever. Tofu tacos (click here for recipe). This is a fairly regular dinner in our family, so it's about time I shared the joy. Usually I pick my favorite parts out of meals and throw the rest on the floor, but I eat every part of these awesome tacos. (I did end up throwing some on the floor at the end of the meal, as well as my plate--you should have seen the coleslaw fly when the plate hit the ground--but I was Mr. Surly today, so I couldn't go soft.) Even Gillian likes the coleslaw (though she calls it salad and she loves everything about salad in general). Liana, of course, won't try any of it, and she does not know what she's missing. So, I implore you, do yourselves a favor and treat yourselves to a delicious and nutritious dinner. You'll never go back.

P.S. We usually don't use the cheese or salsa verde, and you can just spray the skillet to cook the tofu instead of brushing the tofu with olive oil. Also, make extra coleslaw. You won't regret it.

P.P.S. No new photos to share. My parents are being lazy with the camera.

One Sticky Situation

I am not sure if I have had this discussion here, but we were noticing a lot of spiders that could have been brown recluse spiders around our house.  Apparently they are everywhere, but often stick to themselves.  We were finding them in our bathroom and the bedrooms.  Since they are all in the basement, we felt we needed to do something about it.  The internet said glue traps are the best.  We got them, placed them around, and caught a few spiders.

Spiders is what we were targeting for, but it was something bigger that caught our attention.  We have always had mice around our house.  It is old and with the construction, we aquired some friends.  I was not alive yet for many of these early mice tales, but I have heard the stories from my parents and sisters.  We named them names like Buttons, Speedy, Baby Chubs, and Richard.  We poisoned them mostly.  One was found in Pinky Pie's house, sleeping (dead).  Another was found sluggishy crawling on the living room floor.  Mom trapped that one in a tupperware and threw it outside.  Yay Mommy! 

Well back to the glue traps.  We caught two mice in the laundry room, not on the same trap.  We had never seen mice in the basement before so this was a shock.  Daddy had to dispose of these.  Then last night we heard some high pitched wimpering in the corner.  The long forgotten trap under mom's dresser had caught a one.  The girls were super interested in the mouse and wanted to let it free.  They started naming it and talking to it.  I could see in my parents' eyes that disapointment was about to be released from their mouths.  Apparently glue traps are meant to be permanent and this little mouse's fate was locked. 

So that brings us to tonight.  Dad saw a mouse.  He had an idea.  Place a glue trap by where he saw it go.  Less than five minutes later...  Mickey was stuck to his new club house.  The glue traps make me sad, but mice eating my snacks makes me sadder.

An oldie, but cutie

Put that back in my mouth, I want to suck it!

I know that my mom and dad think that I am almost an adult, but I know that I am still a really cute big baby.  Babies get to suck on things:  toys, teats, thumbs, tasties, and last but certainly not least, binkies. (I could have changed the alliteration to B, but I decided not to.) Mom made me give up the teats and now she has taken away my binkies. Last night I was too tired to notice, this afternoon for my nap I was too tired to notice, tonight, I NOTICED.  Who does she think I am?  I really suck!  I suck all the time!  My editor is informing me that that might not be the best choice of words, but I am sticking with it.  I really liked by binkies.  They were soothing, they pacified me, they were my nook of happiness.  With out warning, mom pulled my plug and the power went out on my relax-full sucking.  Now, I might be just a baby, but even I know that if someone is screaming, shove something in their mouth and you shut them up.  I had to cry and cry and cry and cry tonight and they still did not give me my binky back.  I pretended to go to sleep so they would not disturb me while I typed this.

What reason might they have for doing this to me?  Binkies made me happy.  Mom is making me mad.  I am definitely wearing my pouty face tomorrow, throwing myself on the ground, and being surly.  All playing and no binky makes Asher a grumpy boy.

Here are a couple of pictures my dad took when he was having fun in California without us.  Another thing I am grumpy about.  He could have fit me in his carry on.  I could have pretended to be a puppy.  Cali neeeeeds me.  I am the son.  I end with that awesome and painful pun.

My Near Death Experience

Most mornings I wake up around the time everyone else is waking up. Gillian only has one volume in the morning (loud) and she has taken it upon herself to be the family alarm clock. But, she doesn't have a snooze button and she sets herself earlier and earlier each day.

Today I was tired from staying up late to watch "Celebrity Wife Swap," so I slept through the alarm. When I woke up, I heard "Curious George" on the TV in Mom and Dad's room where Liana and Gillian were apparently getting dressed, and I heard the shower going and assumed Mom was in there.

My first mistake was making noise. I could have stayed quiet until after Mom got out of the shower and no one would have known I was awake sooner. But, I just had to make my early morning yelp. Gillian heard me right away and started yelling, "Asher's awake!" I then heard Mom yell from the shower, "Leave him alone! I'll get him in a minute!" Which, of course, made Gillian want to not leave me alone.

My bedroom door flew open and in came Gillian all dressed in her princess best. I thought I would be safe as long as I stayed in the far corner of the crib and threw binkies at her. She started throwing in extra blankets and stuffed animals, which was fine. Nothing that could hurt me. Then she found my box of dreidels and cars (I'm obsessed with dreidels and cars, in case you didn't know), but instead of throwing them at me, she just handed them to me. She handed me a couple books as well.

Then she moved the rocking chair closer to the crib and started to climb in. Now I was sure I was in trouble. What did she do? She snuggled up next to me, tucked the blankets in all around us, and started reading to me. She even pointed to all the pictures and explained everything. Then when she was done reading she gave me a kiss and tucked me in some more. After we were done reading, she used the books to make a platform and started spinning dreidels for me. It was an awesome time.

Then I saw Mom standing at the doorway. I pretended to ignore her because I was actually enjoying my quality time with the normal Gillian. Eventually Gillian noticed Mom though, and then turned crazy again. Oh well, it was nice while it lasted.

A Confession...

I have to admit...I'm kind of in love with Celebrity Wife Swap. Yes, it's on a little past my bedtime, but some things are worth losing sleep over. I mean, Dee Snider and Flava Fav switching wives? It doesn't get much better than that. You have to admit Dee Snider is pretty awesome.

I have also decided that since I'm going to be two in less than a month, I might as well get going on the "Terrible Twos" early. My parents thought they had it bad with Gillian (though her Terrible Twos started when she was born and they're still waiting for her to grow out of it) and thought I would be easy. True, I am a laid back dude. But if people are expecting me to turn into a monster when I'm two, then I'm not going to miss that opportunity. For now I've decided to become Mr. Surly. My normally smiling face has been replaced with a scowl. I've gotten quite good at sticking out my bottom lip. My eyebrows are also quite expressive. You thought I could melt people with my sweetness? Well, my surliness is even more powerful. In addition to the scowl I've discovered that lying down on the floor when I'm supposed to be walking somewhere is a great way to frustrate people. Sprawl out on the floor and add the scowl? I'm the master, obey my commands.

I also like climbing up on to the table and dancing. We have a counter-height table. And chewing coins, of which there are many hanging around our house because my sisters are not careful with their money. Nothing gets Mom's attention like strutting up to her with my wicked smile and noisily chewing on a dime.

And this is just the beginning, folks. We've got a whole year of experimenting to do.

Random Thoughts

A random post tonight because I'm hopped up on ice cream. Yes, that's all I ate for dinner. I threw my dinner on the floor and then I stole my sisters' ice cream. I am awesome.

#1. The New Chore Chart. My parents are fed up with my sisters for being whiny, mess-making monsters, so they have instituted a chore chart to whip them into shape. They each have five tasks to do each day now, with the goal of earning $1 each week. The idea is that this will make the girls more independent, keep the house cleaner, and give them a little spending money so they can stop pestering Mom and Dad to buy them everything. The girls also really love marking things on charts. The first day was a success.

#2. Mom's ICAN Meeting Today. A mom shared her story about having a VBA3C (that's birth shorthand for "vaginal birth after 3 cesareans"). After her second cesarean she was looking for a doctor that would let her try to have a VBAC. One of the doctors she interviewed said, "Sure, I'll let you have a trial of labor." Pause. "How much life insurance do you have?" The mom said she didn't understand what that had to do with it. Doctor replied, "Because you're going to need it when you leave your other two kids behind." All I have to say is, really?

#3. My New Diapers. "Ah-per" as I call them. I normally use prefolds with Econobum covers and a fleece lining, but I was having rash troubles from my overnight diapers. Apparently I have super strong pee. So, Mom got me some new bumGenius 4.0s because they're buy 2, get 1 free at Cottonbabies. They are pretty awesome. I like showing off my new cutie booty. Too bad I only get to wear them at night, but Mom doesn't want to spend a fortune on a new diaper stash, even though it's tempting.

#4. Daddy's Home! He brought me a plane because he went on a plane. It has wheels, though, so it's actually a car.

While Daddy's Away...

Dad's away on a business trip this week--he's off gallivanting on the beach and climbing mountains in California while the rest of us are here in the cold. Who does he think he is, leaving us for four whole days? I should be going to Disneyland, not hanging out with Mom and my crazy sisters.

It actually hasn't been that bad. The girls came to baby school with me yesterday and they went back to their own schools today. Also, Dad being away has somehow turned Mom into a crazy cooking machine. We've made snickerdoodles, lentil soup, beer bread, teriyaki tofu wraps, plus the usual mac and cheese and grilled cheese (my sisters are so unoriginal). Mom also experimented with starting a sourdough starter, which made Gillian cry because she thought she was getting fresh bread that evening. We'll let you know how that one turns out in a few days. Snickerdoodles didn't turn out as good as they sound--they taste awesome while you're chewing them but then they have a weird aftertaste. I liked chewing the teriyaki tofu, but not swallowing it. Beer bread is awesome. I didn't actually try the lentil soup. I was going to, but then got too busy yelling, "Hot! Soup!" and distracted myself. Also, Casey (Aunt Louie's dog) was visiting and I don't eat when Casey visits--I feed her.

We might not be soaking up the California sun, but we're having our own kind of fun. Not fun that we'd like to be repeating anytime soon though. We miss you Daddy!

New Year, New You (Me, That Is)

I thought it was time to jump on the bandwagon and make some New Year's resolutions for myself. Sure, I'm not yet two years old and I'm already super awesome, but there's always room for improvement. So, here we go.

1. Potty training. I'm still of the mindset that it's the potty that needs to be trained, not me. I personally don't have a problem with diapers. I do love flushing the toilet though.

2. Turn 2. Only a month away, my lovely fans. Start planning now.

3. Never eat a mushroom again. I was being sneaky and tried to steal one from Mom when she was preparing dinner. I was the loser.

4. Find new uses for the word "hopkah." It started off around Halloween time as my word for pumpkin, but it has proven useful in many other situations as well. Most recently, Chanukah. Hopkah sounds enough like Hanukka that everyone around me thinks I'm calling dreidels Hannukah, but really I'm calling them hopkah. It works for pretty much any multi-syllable word I want to say.

5. Lose the binky. Ok, Mom snuck that one in. I'm already restricted to using it just in my crib and now she thinks she's going to take it away altogether?

6. Hide several binkies so that when Mom does take them away I still have some in reserve. Keep those binkies as long as possible.

That's enough for now. I've got plenty to get started on. Happy New Year to you all!