Poop Week Day 3: Pooberry

The Blueberry, that is. Yes, the most beloved character in our house right now is a blueberry named Pooberry. Here's the story: The girls like Mom and Dad to sing them songs each night. They each get three songs each night (unless they do something to lose one), so you can imagine how many times we have heard "Twinkle Twinkle," "ABC," "Baa Baa Black Sheep," etc. (We have actually had some nights where all six songs are with the same melody and the girls don't seem to mind--it drives me crazy!) Eventually the girls started asking Mom and Dad to make up songs. Dad's are one-trick ponies. He sings them one night and they are quickly forgotten. Mom's, for some reason, can go on forever. For example, Gillian had a Mom song about a princess named Pink who had a pony named Rainbow and a dragon friend named Googagoogagoo who liked to go to a cotton candy waterfall. Pink and Rainbow and Googagoogagoo's song came back night after night with many different adventures until Mom and Dad got tired of it and eventually got it out of the rotation.

Now we have Pooberry. This happened at camp. Dad would make up random one-night songs about fruit that had different personalities. One night Dad was out working late and Mom started making up some fruit songs, and suddenly Pooberry was born. I didn't think it would stick. None of the other fruit songs she made up did. But there's just something about Pooberry.

The basic premise of the song is that Pooberry rolls around town or the forest or by a river and gets eaten by some kind of animal or person. Pooberry gets upset about being eaten and finds a way out, either by tickling or dancing in the animal's stomach, and then gets pooped or barfed out. Eventually Pooberry started picking up friends to travel around with. The first friends were Red the Raspberry and Black the Blackberry. Gillian often reminds us that Red is the only girl in the crew. Then they met Corny the Corn, Manapple-y the Apple and Steve the Orange. Then one day they got trapped in the circus and met Black Licorice the Bear. Black Licorice ate all of them at first, but then when he realized they could all talk, he barfed them out and became their friend and protector. Then they escaped from the circus and started riding around on his back to get wherever they needed to go. Then they met Flicky the Moose, and now Corny, Manapple-y and Steve ride on Flicky and Pooberry, Red and Black ride on Black Licorice. Most recently they met Grover Cleveland, who snores so loud that he keeps all the would-be predators away while they're sleeping.

And that's Pooberry. We don't get to hear any other songs at night now. "Shenandoah" used to be Gillian's favorite song and it was a nice song to relax to. Now we get six songs worth of Pooberry every night.

I couldn't make this up even if I tried.

Poop Week Day 2: So That's Why They Call it the Poop Deck

If I were to start a post by saying I pooped in one of my diapers, no one would think a thing of it. But if I were to say my five-year-old sister pooped in one of my diapers, that makes for a good tale. So begins Day 2 of Poop Week.
This past weekend, we vacationed with the extended family (Nana, Gaga, Aunt Rin, Aunt Louie, Uncle Sock, and Casey) and rented a house on the lake for Gaga's birthday extravaganza. It was an awesome weekend--swimming, eating (the main food groups of the weekend were donuts, cake balls, and meat), tormenting Casey (she's a dog for those of you who don't remember, and her tail belongs to me), staying up late, and basically having free reign of an un-baby-proofed house. Also, Uncle Sock and Aunt Louie brought their new canoe, and it is my new best friend. You haven't seen a tantrum until you see me left on the dock as one of my sisters gets a canoe ride instead of me.

Anyway, on to the poopy part. Saturday we rented a pontoon boat and spent the day unsuccessfully trying to catch fish. There are many things a pontoon boat doesn't have. A bathroom is one of them. We had plenty of swimming time, so that took care of most of the bathrooming needs. But then, Liana had to go, and when she has to go, she has to go. We were anchored at the time, eating lunch and fishing and spent a short time debating. Since we were planning on swimming, she couldn't just make a floater, and we were too far away from any marinas to think about that (and it turned out our boat's motor had shorted out and we couldn't have driven to a marina anyway--an hour later we were being towed). So, Mom suggested one of my diapers. Now, I have a little booty, and Liana is the size of a 10-year-old, so my diaper wasn't going to fit on her. Super-genius Mom decides to get Liana propped up in a squatting position and volunteers to hold the diaper underneath her as Nana holds up a towel for privacy. Of course, nothing much stays private as Liana provides commentary throughout the whole poop. "Ok, here comes the poop." "Whoa, I'm peeing too!" "It's still touching my butt." All this while everyone else ate lunch on the other side of the boat. Yay, Liana.

Poop Week Day 1: Nugget

It's time for me to branch out and have a theme week. Think "Shark Week," but less shark, more poop. Poop is a big deal to a baby and to anyone who takes care of a baby, so it's about time that we dealt with it.

Today's story is about pooping out. You all know our Zhu Zhu Pet Sottie, I mean Spottie, and Spottie's friends Nugget and Azer. Spottie is doing well, and we still haven't found Azer (I guess when you're a ninja hamster you are super good at hiding). Nugget, however, is having some troubles. When you're a little motorized hamster with wheels, especially when you're roaming around a house like ours that has three children and a dad who leave lots of messes, you're going to get stuff stuck around your wheels. So began Nugget's slow demise. First she would just stop, and if you banged her against the floor just the right way, she would go again. Then she stopped being able to go forward and could only go backwards. It was a sad sight to see, that poor little Zhu Zhu rolling around in backward circles. So, Mom tried to swoop in and save the day.  The trouble with moms is that they can do so many things that they think they can do anything. Sure, my mom can make dinner, do laundry, keep Liana and Gillian from killing each other, and combat identity theft (see Poop Week Day 3: Identity Theft is Poop) all at the same time, but she cannot perform surgery on a tiny motorized rodent. Nugget's innards ended up being strewn all about the couch, and while she got most of the hair and other crap out, she could not get Nugget put back together again. At least, not in the correct way. Nugget is paralyzed now, and can only make its annoying noises. As cool as Zhu Zhu pets are when they are roaming free, they are just poopy when they can't move. Nugget is nowhere near as much fun to torment as she used to be.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Philosophy With My Sisters

My parents always talk about how we kids have awesome brains. It started with Liana because she's ridiculously smart and often acts like a 30-year-old. Then it went on to me because I'm awesome all around. And then I think they gave it to Gillian just to counteract the middle-child syndrome. Anyway, we are all awesome.

This morning, Mom, Liana and I were still at the table eating breakfast (a new cereal this morning-Oatmeal Squares-even better when thrown at people) and Gillian was running around doing whatever Gillian does. Out of nowhere, Gillian says, "I think God has an awesome brain."

Liana, knowing everything as usual, says, "Well, of course God has an awesome brain. He's God."

So, there's your lesson for today. God has an awesome brain.

What's going on over there?

A Growing Boy

I had my 18 month check-up today and boy was it awesome. First I got to play with the roller coaster bead toys that were in the waiting room. Why are those toys in every doctor's office and nowhere else? They are awesome! Then I got to flirt with all the nurses who thought I was super cute (though I did have some competition from Gillian because she had insisted on wearing her Queen Esther dress and was super fancy). Then I got to be naked, which is always cool. The nurse left the door open at one point and I tried to take off down the hall to show everyone my naked glory, but Mom was too fast. The doctor's office also recently installed new planet mobiles above the exam tables, so there were lots of colorful balls to look at (insert joke here). I did an awesome job at growing and being healthy. I'm in the 75th percentile for height and 50th for weight, so I've put on some chub since my last check-up. And I'm happy to report that I did not cry for my first shot, and I only cried for two seconds for my second shot. They distracted me with a new ball pretty quickly. Gillian of course reported to Liana that I cried two times, but she was just being dramatic.

The part that had nothing to do with me was Gillian's obsession with her little plastic platypus toy that she found in the prize drawer at the doctor's office. On the way home, she named it Platy, and its nickname is Pinkie, and its last name is Pinko. She kept talking about how she wanted to make a house for it, but Gillian is very easily distracted, so I didn't believe she'd actually do it. We got home and right away she found a box and got to work. Mom made lunch for everyone, but Gillian (who is constantly eating) didn't touch hers because she was too busy. Then Mom put me in my crib for a nap and normally during that time Mom works and keeps Gillian out of her business by letting Gillian watch TV or play computer. But, as I'm told, she did none of those things during my nap today. She worked on that house for a good two hours--cutting out windows, decorating it inside and out, making a bed and a food bowl for Platy. She never works on anything for that long. She's like a goldfish when it comes to attention spans. Then she was still obsessed with it two hours later when Liana came home, so much so that Liana had to make a house for her little plastic mole that Gillian had picked out of the prize drawer for her. At least we know she can focus on things now.

The Houses: Mr. Mole's on the left and Platy's on the right

I can drive a truck now too!

Going Viral

Apparently I have become very popular--or, at least, I have moved up in search engine rankings. Normally when I have a new post, I have about 30-40 pageviews in a day. So, you would expect that during my long summer of silence I would have very few visitors to my site. You can imagine my surprise when I logged on last week to have over 150 pageviews in the last several days. Somehow my post Care Bears Countdown has suddenly started coming up for people searching for the cuddly creatures. It's my first step to going viral!

In other news, I go for my 18-month check-up tomorrow, so I'll let you know the results. Liana is sad that she's going to be at school and have to miss it. She wants Gillian to report to her if I cry or not. Dude, I'm getting shots. Of course I'm going to cry.

I'm throwing an iron at you.

The Return of Sottie

You might remember my story about my sister's Zhu Zhu Pets and how they called the one named Spottie, Sottie. If you don't remember, go read it. Today I have a story about how all things come around. The Spottie/Sottie situation has become a joke in my family. People are always saying, "Oh, you mean Sottie!" because it is really funny. For some reason my parents forgot to pack the Zhu Zhu Pets for camp, so I had to go the whole summer without my three little buddies (before camp I had acquired my own Zhu Zhu Pet Azer--he's actually a Kung Zhu Ninja). When we got home I found Nugget and Spottie right away (Azer is still in Ninja mode and nowhere to be found) and started chasing them. I could spend all day following those little guys around. My sisters were making lots of noise, either cheering me on to help me catch the Zhu Zhus or cheering the Zhu Zhus on to get away from me. Then, my parents started making fun of my sisters again by yelling, "Go Sottie," "No, you mean Sottie," "Oh, Sottie," etc. Out of nowhere, Liana, in her most annoyed teenager-like voice, said, "It's Spottie." Suddenly everyone stopped (except the Zhu Zhus because they never stop) and just looked at each other. Mom and Dad made Liana say a bunch of other words like star, school, stop, etc, and she could say every one. All of a sudden, those s-blends clicked and she could speak like a real person!

Now I need to start working on speaking like a real person. I do say the essentials--cookie, cup, up, ball, woof, mama--but most other things still come out ga. I'll keep you posted on those developments.

In other news, Liana started kindergarten today! And for some reason, Liana being gone all day makes Gillian nice. I made it until 4:30 today without getting hit, kicked, or sat on. I could get used to this.